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All of those words that I used, I guess, were associated with difficult experiences and sometimes just uninteresting, boring sex really. Then also, actually, many years of not having sex at all. Compared to today, I would describe… the words that I would use would be pleasure, joy, satisfaction, happiness.

– Laura Monk

Darla LeDoux:  Welcome to today’s episode of Retreat and Grow Rich, the podcast. I am super excited to be bringing you, all the way from the UK, Dr. Laura Monk. Hi Laura! I almost said, “Hi doctor!” [laughing]

Laura Monk:  Hi Darla, it’s so good to be here.

Darla LeDoux:  I’m so happy to have you. Guys, Laura is a sex, love, and relationship coach who combines her love of tantra with her knowledge of self-care in order to support others to take care of their sexual lives, whether they’re solo or in relationships. Laura’s grounding in counseling and psychotherapy, working mainly in abuse and trauma, and her background in academia, researching domestic and sexual abuse, allow her a profound understanding of blocks and barriers to sexual self-care that keep women stuck and unable to connect with their sexuality in a healthy way.

Drawing on her own personal experiences as a survivor, Laura says that she knows tantra has the potential to move women beyond surviving to thriving, to living and loving in ways only dreamt of before. Laura, I’m so excited because this is going to be a juicy conversation.

Laura Monk:  Mmm-hmm! I’m excited too Darla.

Darla LeDoux:  Yes! You have so much expertise in your background, both through your education and your work, and you’ve been doing retreats now for over a year. You started with these practitioner self-care retreats, since you’ve been a practitioner for a long time and you saw that as a need. Can you talk a little bit about why you started doing these retreats, and then, how did they become sexy self-care retreats?

Laura Monk:  Yeah, that’s a good question Darla. Yes, they did start out as practitioner self-care retreats because I was looking for a self-care retreat myself.

Darla LeDoux:  [laughing] Well, that’s the best reason. You know there’s a need.

Laura Monk:  I knew there was a need as a practitioner. I was in academia at the time, and I was burnt out, and I was really looking for something that could meet my needs as a practitioner who didn’t really want to go to a retreat where people might not understand burnout from this perspective. I was looking for something more specialized, and I looked for a long time and didn’t really find, well, I didn’t find at all, what I was looking for.

Darla LeDoux:  What were you thinking people wouldn’t understand? What’s specific to the practitioner?

Laura Monk:  I guess specifically, Darla, I had a concern that as a practitioner, particularly a psychotherapist in the UK, the ethical framework that I work to has a principle of self-care, to look after ourselves so that we can be our best selves in service to others. Therefore, it’s quite a risky thing to talk about when you’re not self caring very well, because there may be questions over whether you should be in practice. So that’s, that’s the… 

Darla LeDoux:  I got you.

Laura Monk:  I felt vulnerable. I wanted to be careful about where I was looking for that support.

Darla LeDoux: That makes perfect sense, to know that it’s a safe space with people who get it who aren’t going to judge or report you.

Laura Monk:  Yes. It had to be a safe and confidential space. Yes, and that’s when I started communicating in my… when writing about what I was offering practitioners. This would be a safe space, just come along and just talk about whatever’s going on for you and you can feel safe in talking out loud about just how bad things have got. That’s the kind of thing that I really wanted, great idea, and I did run those retreats. To answer your question, the turning point where there was this switch to ‘sexy self-care’ happened on retreat when, in a group of women, we were sharing our experiences of what we really like to do for self-care.It was a fun day that I had prepared in advance and invited people to bring things along. People had brought art, and crystals, and all sorts of lovely things that they love to take good care of themselves with. I was talking about tantra. I was talking about this course that I had been taking for about a year in the UK with Shakti Tantra, they run a women’s program in the UK. I’d got into tantra after a second divorce, and I’d met this wonderful man, who I’m still with today, I’m very glad to say. I had discovered this whole new wonderful world of sexual intimacy and the most beautiful emotional, sensual connection that I’d ever known. I was, at this stage, a middle-aged woman, and was most surprised to discover this so late in life, and thrilled, and perplexed as to why I’d never known about it before.

So, I started this tantra course, I was loving it, opened up this whole new world for me. I was talking to the women in this group and I was saying, “I think I’d really like to weave something like this into these self-care retreats. I think there’s definitely scope for more sexual self-care.” I was telling them about the kind of person I was when I started this tantra training: middle-age, post-menopausal, twice divorced… One of the practitioners there who was also a psychotherapist, she was kind of putting her hand up saying, “Oh that’s me as well, and I’d be interested in this!” I said, “Well, it will be a really, very different kind of retreat, it will be more sexy self-care.” When that name came out and she said, “Sign me up, I’m really interested!” I knew right then and there that there was scope for this work. There was an opening there to invite women in to discover what I had discovered and that’s where it happened.

Darla LeDoux:  I love it! Sometimes the path that we least expect just shows up for us.

Laura Monk:  Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:  And there it is.

Laura Monk:  It certainly does.

Darla LeDoux:  You mentioned middle-aged, twice divorced. Can you talk a little bit about your own story with sexuality and why this is so important to you?

Laura Monk:  Mmm-hmm. Well, I guess before that point, sex had a lot of negative association for me. A lot of guilt and trauma, abuse, shame, pain. Yeah, just I could go on and on really, embarrassment… Just, it seemed from a child, and through teenage years, and as a young woman, there were so many negative experiences and I had just not known about the kind of beautiful intimacy that I discovered that I have now. I never knew anything about it, Darla, and I am still in awe that I didn’t. I feel sad at the thought that I might never have known that, and I feel sad at the thought that so many women might never know that. I really would like to promote this idea that it’s never too late.

Darla LeDoux:  Yeah. If you were to say, if we were to make lists of before and after and you said, ‘guilt’ before and then ‘awe’ was a word you used to describe now. If we were to play with that, what was the idea of sex and sexuality like for you before and then now?

Laura Monk:  All of those words that I used I guess were associated with difficult experiences and sometimes just uninteresting, boring sex really, and also, actually, many years of not having sex at all. Compared to today, I would describe… the words that I would use would be, pleasure, joy, satisfaction, happiness, loving tenderness, sensuality, deliciousness. It makes me feel so good to think about it and it makes me smile! It’s a totally different landscape, Darla.

Darla LeDoux:  Yeah. That’s so helpful because when you said, “I didn’t even know this was possible, it’s like a whole other world,” I really want to bring that to light for someone who is where you were, that they can go, “Oh yeah, no, that’s not what I’m experiencing. Oh wait, that’s possible?” 

Laura Monk:  Yeah, and there was a period in my second marriage where I had been through the menopause and I wasn’t desired in that relationship anymore. I don’t think it was just to do with aging, there were other factors, but that husband, he did leave me for a younger woman and that was a real blow. That is a difficult thing for a woman who’s been through the menopause because she’s already lost her reproductive capacity and her sexual youth. Then to feel that she’s been made completely redundant in that way, it certainly left me really questioning whether I was desirable and whether there was any future. I spent a long time actually grieving my sexuality. I actually believed, for a long time, that I was never going to have sex again.

Darla LeDoux:  Wow, and you had come to terms with that?

Laura Monk:  I went through a real grieving process, Darla. I remember, clearly, being incredibly sad and crying at that loss and all the things that I’d dreamt of. I used to dream of how I imagined really wonderful sex to be. I thought I’d got these ideas from a movie or something I’d read in a book, because I’d never known anything like that. It was just in my head like a vision, or a dream, or a feeling. It’s just extraordinary to think that I gave that up and then I now actually have that. My dreams have actually come true. Isn’t that amazing? 

Darla LeDoux:  Amazing.

Laura Monk:  Amazing. Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:  It sounds like! And then some!

Laura Monk:  Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

Darla LeDoux:  One of the things you said is that whether you’re partnered or single, you can bring this energy and this sexy self-care into your world. You happened to meet someone, if someone is in that place, and I am certain that you are not the only person who’s had that experience of grieving sex and thinking this is it. I’ve talked with a lot of women who have had that same experience. If someone’s in that place and they’re not in a relationship, and you’re training in tantra, what have you learned about sexy self-care when you’re not partnered?

Laura Monk:  Well, there is so much that you can practice. Just loving your own body, and being in touch with your sexual energy, and using your sexual energy. There’s a lot of power in that. If you can meditate and draw on that part of you to actually help you in your life, there is an incredible power and passion in that energy. So that’s one way, but also just to love your body and feel good about yourself, the way that you touch yourself. In fact, I was just recently, I held a sexy self-care mini retreat for a group of women and we were doing breast massage. We were talking about the way that we can rewire our brains to expect a certain kind of touch by the way that we touch our own bodies. When we engage in a self-loving practice on a regular basis, we touch ourselves in the way that we like to be touched with love, and care, and acceptance, and sensuality. When we do that on a regular basis, we rewire ourselves to expect that from others.

Darla LeDoux:  Wow. I love that insight. If someone’s single… I seem to work with two types of clients and so I hear a lot from people who are, whether they’re empty nesters, just left their marriage and they’re focusing on their business now, and they’re just thinking sex is not important, whether they’re in a marriage or not. Or people who are never married, and more single and looking for love. That feels so important to then be able to recognize, “Oh this is the type of person that I want in my…”

Laura Monk:  Yes, absolutely. That will help their radar, help them recognize that energy that they feel from somebody else, whether they are able to match their energy that they love themselves with.

Darla LeDoux:  Yes. Yes. I love it! 

I want to go back to this self-care for practitioners. What did you learn? Because… We’ll take a step back just from the retreat leader perspective first, because we like to ask a little bit about what it’s like from that perspective, that transforming out loud. What did you learn about yourself leading these practitioner retreats?

Laura Monk:  Well, I guess there’s one thing about us always teaching the thing that we need to learn, self-care. I am winning the battle. [laughing] 

Yeah. Certainly one of the things I’ve learnt on retreat is the need to self-care. [laughing] Yeah. It’s so important as retreat leaders that we care for ourselves. If we don’t care for ourselves and make sure that we are the best version of ourselves when we run a retreat, then we can’t hold the space for people looking for that on retreat. We need to model what we’re advocating.

Darla LeDoux:  Yes, yes.

Laura Monk:  Walking the talk.

Darla LeDoux:  As you’re saying that, I’m leading a retreat next week and I literally just booked one extra night to come in even a day earlier, so I get there really two days earlier…

Laura Monk:  Yes, perfect.

Darla LeDoux:  … so I can just breathe, right?

Laura Monk:  Yes.

Darla LeDoux:  Have you had an experience where you felt like, “Oh, I’m not modeling this,” and then what have you put in place to help model it?

Laura Monk:  A similar thing, Darla, to what you just said there. I guess there was a part of me, when I first started running retreats, that believed because I was so busy that the retreat would also be my retreat! So that I could run a retreat and also take that time to recharge my own batteries. I’ve learned that that is not a good idea. I’ve learned that I need to recharge my batteries before I hold a retreat for others to do that.

Darla LeDoux:  I love that you said that because I’m imagining other people thinking that too! Like, “Well, I need to retreat. Let’s just bring some people with me.” Why do you think that wasn’t a good idea for you?

Laura Monk:  Because I did not show up as my best self. I was not in a good energy space. I wasn’t there for my women in the way that I wanted to be there for them. It wasn’t a disaster, but it could have been a lot better. I’ve really learned from that. I wouldn’t do that again. As you’ve just said there, I would create that extra space, that extra day. That’s really important to me now.

Darla LeDoux:  Yes. I always recommend having some support for yourself. [laughing] Know that you’re not having to think of all the things. The longer I’ve been doing this, the less work it is for me to do a retreat and there’s a different way you need to be available, right? I really love when I am doing less work just in general, so I’m available energetically for people when their energy is being strained. 

What have you found, because I know you’ve hosted another retreat since then, what was different?

Laura Monk:  I think the whole energy, the whole feel of the retreat was so much lighter, and more fun, and enjoyable for me and everybody around me. I was able to let the worries go and be there in a way that meant different things opened up, again, for me and others. In touch with that playful, sensual side. It’s difficult to be playful and sensual when you’re exhausted. That’s a really good reason to practice sexy self-care.

Darla LeDoux:  Love it. Why did you notice practitioners, in particular, needed more of this? I’m thinking, even though I know a lot of people that are drawn to this work do come from a practitioner background, or some kind of one-on-one service background, and then a lot of us retreat leaders are doing one-on-one coaching support, which is a little bit different, but can have the same impact if not set up well. Why do so many practitioners burn out?

Laura Monk:  Well, I guess there’s a common need to care for others among practitioners. A lot of natural carers are driven to be practitioners, so they are wired to meet other people’s needs often before their own needs, often subjugating their own needs to the needs of others. They will go that extra mile because we’re working with human beings. Unlike some jobs, they have problems, and pain, and trauma going on in their lives that can be going, well, would be going on, 24/7. We take that home with us, unlike perhaps, a job where you can shut the door and leave it for the weekend. People stay in our minds and in our psyches.

Darla LeDoux:  As you’re talking about being wired to meet other people’s needs and put our own needs last, I’m imagining that translates into sex.

Laura Monk:  Yes. That’s part of sexy self-care is to understand your own needs, and to learn to respect and honor those needs. You can’t do that unless you’re aware of them and are committed to meeting them.

Darla LeDoux:  Our idea of self-care is evolving a lot, especially in the conscious community where we’re more aware that it’s not just a massage, or a bubble bath, or treating yourself to wine and chocolate. I’m guessing most people’s first thought when they think self-care doesn’t go to sex.

Laura Monk:  No, no it doesn’t. [laughing] 

Darla LeDoux:  Laura, why is this so important that we shift this?

Laura Monk:  Well, no, it doesn’t go to sex when we think of self-care. It’s interesting that, when I started researching for the practitioner self-care retreat, I guess I approached it as an academic and started with textbooks and papers. I noticed the odd mention of sex here and there, but it was so brief. That’s one of the things that got me really intrigued about it because, every now and again this word would pop up, but there would be no explanation. There would be a pie chart with the different areas of self-care for instance, and there was the segment ‘physical’, and there was the word sex, and then nothing about it. I kept seeing this and kept thinking, “What is this? Why do people keep talking about, well mentioning, sex? I keep saying the word sex but there’s nothing written about it.”

When I started doing some digging, yes it’s a part of who we are. Our sexuality is an important part of who we are, and it’s such a natural part as well. It’s often been squashed, and stamped, and shamed out of us. That we can love and enjoy and proudly claim our sexuality, it’s often not on the table when we’re talking about self-care. People having a nice chat on the radio, for example, on self-care. No, they don’t usually start talking about having a huge orgasm is going to be a great stress reliever, but it is! [laughing] Probably better than having a bubble bath with candles, which is really always mentioned.

Darla LeDoux:  [laughing] Yeah. Why do you think we need to shift this?

Laura Monk:  I think we need to shift it because it’s more authentic. It’s more real. If we are going to be our best selves, if we are aiming at fulfilling our potential, being the best version of ourselves, having peak experiences, becoming self-actualized, if you can ever get there. That is a part of us. It’s an important part. It’s a spiritual part. It can be a deeply spiritual experience. In fact, in tantra that’s the belief, that a journey to spirituality through sexual transcendence is as valuable as any path to spirituality.

Darla LeDoux:  Well, why do you think so many, I don’t even know the right word, philosophies, or whether it’s religion, or even… I remember reading some of the popular mindset books by old white men who proceeded us talking about actually not having sex as part of being more powerful in your business, and in your life. Why do you think this has been perpetuated as an idea in different areas?

Laura Monk:  Well, that’s a good question. I’m not sure that I could answer that, Darla. I think I read that somewhere not too long ago and it doesn’t seem to have stuck in my brain, perhaps I just completely dismissed that as utter nonsense [laughing] and didn’t even bother to understand why anyone would think that was a good idea.

Darla LeDoux:  [laughing] You know better now, right?

Laura Monk:  [laughing] Yes.

Darla LeDoux:  One of the things I’ve heard you talk about, Laura, is our ancestors and our lineage as women. The women that came before us didn’t have this same stigma. That there was a way in which women taught each other about their physical self and bodies. When I heard you speak about that, I found that really inspiring. Can you share a little bit about your philosophy about that?

Laura Monk:  Well, yes, it’s more of my experience in the women’s program with Shakti Tantra. It’s an incredible program that lets women connect on a profoundly personal level. The practices involved in that training do draw on ancient healing. There is opportunity for women to heal one another through touch. I think because that course is so unique, there’s nothing like it. We get very personal with each other. In a way, I think that if you had a course, say in a university, or an institution, or something, that would never happen because these are ancient healing practices, we don’t do things like that anymore. We have so many rules, and regulations, and policies, and procedures, and the litigious culture we live in. People can’t engage in these, what are essentially, incredibly natural healthy practices of using our hands, and our hearts, and our love, and our care to just hold one another, touch one another. Touch is so healing. I often tell my clients, particularly clients who have been through abuse and trauma, I often teach them how to self sooth through touch. Just touching their… just stroking their arm is something they can do if they’re in trouble, out and about, in public. They can just hold themselves. People wouldn’t take much notice of that, and it’s so powerful! So many people are craving… 

Darla LeDoux:  I’m trying it right now. 

Laura Monk:  … that kind of physical touch. Yeah, it’s beautiful. It’s so soothing just to hold yourself, just to put your arms around yourself. We can do that for each other too. Of course with health and safety and rules about touch these days, that’s happening less and less. I really appreciate that environment. It’s so special. I’d love to see more. 

Darla LeDoux:  Speaking of the rules and regulations, so I’ve worked with a lot of therapists and counselors and psychotherapists who have left that practice for that reason of, there are so many guidelines that limit healing. Do you feel more freedom in this work you’re doing now?

Laura Monk:  Yes I do. I feel a lot more freedom, Darla. I don’t quite know how that will evolve in the UK, well, or anywhere else for that matter. The sexy self-care online mini retreat that I run, it’s just perfect. It’s a perfect platform for early exploration because I conduct that via Zoom and the women can be at home, in the comfort of their own home. Then I’m guiding the practices and they have their video and their audio turned off so they can do whatever they like in the privacy of their own home, which is amazing that it’s just… I love that, how we can bring this kind of practice into people’s homes like that. It’s really so freeing.

Darla LeDoux:  I love it. I love it. You’re going to tell people how they can get in on that in a minute, yes?

Laura Monk:  Mmm-hmm. Yes, I am.

Darla LeDoux:  Awesome. I want to take this to your advice for other retreat leaders. We talk a lot on this podcast about, we can’t teach something that we aren’t embodying or that we haven’t practiced, and that the more we expand what we can be with, the more we can hold space for people with whatever is going on in their life. I know in my own retreats, as a retreat leader, I have had people with sexual trauma and sexual abuse from their past. It was much later that I realized my own trauma and abuse that I had experienced as a child that had been really suppressed. It was through a deep healing session that I was actually even able to see that. Then we have people who, the thing they really need to do is admit that there’s no sex in their marriage and they either need to leave it or they need to shift that. All of these topics come up on retreat. Even if your retreat is a business retreat, or if your retreat is a writing retreat, or you think this is just something very practical, these things come up.

Laura Monk:  Yeah, they do.

Darla LeDoux:  What advice would you have for a leader who wants to expand their capacity to hold space for people who are dealing with, possibly, sexual trauma that they didn’t know was there or really getting honest with themselves about their sex life or their sexuality?

Laura Monk:  What comes to mind immediately, Darla, is safety. That’s really the foundation for this kind of work is to be able to create a safe container for this work so that women, well, I work with women, but the same would be true for men. 

If anybody’s sharing any kind of abuse and trauma, but particularly sexual abuse and trauma, safety is so key, it’s so important. The retreat leader needs to know how to be able to create that space, and the person on retreat needs to know that that’s there. They need to have that communicated to them. It needs to be a space where they can feel safe to be vulnerable in whatever feelings come up. That’s so important.

Darla LeDoux:  Yeah. In our Retreat and Grow Rich program, we help people internally to be a safe space and we help people to set that framework at the beginning of the retreat, and create that confidentiality, and the sharing, and the vulnerability that really helps signal that this is a safe space, in addition to the rules. We can help with that at Retreat and Grow Rich. 

That said, there’s a whole other level, I would imagine, of expansion available for someone as a leader to put themselves in a container, like a sexy self-care retreat, or the virtual retreats you do, or a tantra training, or something like that, to help them really get in touch with where they’re at in that area of life. Would you say that’s true?

Laura Monk:  Yes, absolutely. This kind of practice for retreat leaders, it opens something new, opens something that will help anybody, really, to be able to understand and empathize with others in a way that they couldn’t do before. Because you’re able to learn, and understand, and get to know yourself as a whole sexual being so that you are more open to hearing about sexual experiences or difficult experiences. If you’ve got that part closed off and you feel it’s a kind of a taboo subject, or just not very nice to talk about, or not something, or perhaps something you’re scared of or you just don’t want to go near. How can you have a safe container or create an opportunity for people to explore that part of themselves?

Darla LeDoux:  Yes. I’ve told this story before on the podcast at some point, but I actually came out at a retreat. It was like I got the “Aha!”, on retreat and it was after that I went through this process of like, “Whoa, this is a real thing and I need to look at this.” But what I think is so fascinating, we can only hold space for that which we’ve looked at and healed in ourselves.

It was just prior to that retreat, I was coaching someone one-on-one who was the client in this program that we actually had retreat for. She is gay and she was saying, “I don’t know, I’m afraid to talk about being a lesbian.” She actually works with people on their sexuality. She used to say, “I’m afraid to talk about being a lesbian because I’m afraid straight people won’t want to hire me.” That was her concern she had brought to the coaching call. I’m her coach, in the closet, not looked at this part of my life, and it was up for healing. And first thing I said is, “I don’t think that’s true. Next.” 

I didn’t even want to have the conversation, Laura, because it was threatening to my needs, right?

Laura Monk:  Yes.

Darla LeDoux:  So, if someone isn’t… It happened pretty quickly that I learned and I looked back at that conversation and I actually called her and cleaned it up. I said, “I’m so sorry that I did that. I get it now.” That’s the kind of thing that we’re not able to hold space for all the possibilities if we haven’t done our own work. That’s what I learned there.

Laura Monk:  Yeah. Yeah. That’s such a good example, Darla. Yeah, I’ve had a similar experience to that myself. I think if you perhaps fear that talking about something in your past, especially if it’s relevant to your work, like sexual abuse. I don’t know what the figures are in the US, but certainly one in three women in the UK have experienced sexual abuse, so it’s very high. There’s always going to be a portion of women who have experienced sexual abuse. If you really fear that you will be judged for your experiences that can hold you back from perhaps doing some really important work and actually being the guiding light, the lighthouse, for others who are looking for what you have to offer.

Darla LeDoux:  Beautiful. Well, thank you for shining your light on this topic. Laura, who’s the right person for sexy self-care?

Laura Monk:  The right person for sexy self-care?

Darla LeDoux:  Yeah. What kind of woman is looking for this?

Laura Monk:  Oh, well, as I was saying before, I had really thought of a demographic that was very similar to myself when I first became interested in this work. I guess older women probably who had been through the menopause, middle-aged, divorced, weren’t having any sex, or weren’t having great sex, or just weren’t feeling desirable, or lost connection with their sexuality. I definitely think that that’s the kind of woman that this will appeal to. But the more I talk about it, I find that many young women are also saying to me, “Well, I would like to do that too. I’d really enjoy that. I really need that. I hate my body, and I can’t connect with others, and I can’t tell my boyfriend what I want in bed.” Actually, although I had a particular woman in mind, I think really anybody who’s lost that connection with their sexual self or anybody who actually wants a relationship with their body and their sensual selves, that’s who this sexy self-care would be for.

Darla LeDoux:  Awesome. If someone wants to, on retreat, bring a little bit of this kind of nurturing, self-pleasuring vibe to their retreat, just as like, a simple exercise… What would you suggest? What’s a simple exercise someone could do if they’re… Because it’s risky to start introducing these topics, right? It’s risky to go there. What’s something simple someone could do if they wanted to get people connected to their sexuality?

Laura Monk:  A simple exercise, well-

Darla LeDoux:  To even talk about the self touch.

Laura Monk:  Yeah, there’s several springing to mind. I guess a simple exercise would be a sensual dance because it really gets people into their bodies. The way that I like to introduce dance in this kind of way is in a private space that can actually be through just having closed eyes, and if you’re in a group of women so that you know you’re not being looked at and you’re not looking at others. Just to have sensual music play, and be still with your body, and feel that music fill your body from the inside out. Definitely not “perform” a dance, but to really feel, your body being pulled towards the music.

Darla LeDoux:  Beautiful.

Laura Monk:  Yeah, I think anything that can get women into their bodies would be a good place to start. But if we can make it sensual, then it makes it that much more fun, and pleasurable, and enjoyable, too.

Darla LeDoux:  Thank you. I love it! Everyone listening, you can learn more about sexy self-care and Dr. Laura Monk over on her website, which is If you go to, you will see a little bit about Laura’s retreats, but also there’s a button on the page where you can contact her. She’s got something really special for our listeners that I’m so excited about. I really want to share that Laura has shared this same methodology and approach with our private clients, and I’ve heard nothing but amazingness, so you want to get this. Can you tell people about the mini retreat they can access through you and this website?

Laura Monk:  Yes, Darla. Thank you. I am offering three places on my next sexy self-care mini retreat. It’s a two-hour virtual retreat. There’s a little bit of pre-work, and post-work, and a follow up session. This is an introduction to tantra, so a gentle introduction to tantra. This is really to help women to make a new relationship with their body and sensual selves. It’s really powerful work, and that’s great to hear that you’re hearing good things, Darla.

Darla LeDoux:  This is the one where they can be in the comfort of their own home and practice some of these things, so a little less intimidating than being in a group.

Laura Monk:  Oh yes. They’re in a group on Zoom while we’re talking about sexy self-care and tantra, and then I guide women through some exercises, yes. Then the video goes off, the audio goes off, and they’re just alone with their massage oil or whatever I might be suggesting for the exercise. Yeah, absolutely having privacy to enjoy themselves.

Darla LeDoux:  Sounds super juicy. Your passion is contagious! 

Laura Monk:  [laughing] Excellent.

Darla LeDoux:  Yes. Thank you Dr. Laura! Is there anything you want to leave people with?

Laura Monk:  Well, I first of all would love to say hello to everybody out there listening. If you feel at all inspired by this interview to reconnect with your sexuality, your sensual self, your body, to love your body and to care for your body, do check out my website or at least start thinking about how you might practice in sexy self-care.

Darla LeDoux:  Beautiful. Thank you Laura. Thanks everyone for tuning in and we’ll see you on the next episode. Have an amazing day.

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