I said above that action leads to feedback. As a kid, we touch the stove and learn that it is hot, that is feedback. Feedback helps us to know what we want and don’t want to do. The stove example is obvious, but I found this to be an important point that we understood as kids. YOU CANNOT KNOW WHETHER YOU WILL LIKE SOMETHING BY THINKING ABOUT IT!
We try to understand things like our career options and even relationship options by thinking about them over and over in our minds. Until we have taken action and received the feedback, we cannot have clarity. Now, of course, if you are making a decision and one of the options clearly goes against your value system, you can easily analyze your way through that. If you absolutely love the city, you may be clear about not marrying a farmer. But any time you are uncertain and you have that confused, “fuzzy,” experience as you think it through time and again, the solution is to jump into action. You are likely stuck because of a fear of doing it wrong. You could even think consciously about doing it as badly as possible. This can be really freeing, and you will likely surprise yourself.
So, I had been coaching within organizations for various assignments for ages, I knew it was my strength, and had I contemplated getting my coach certification for more than 10 years. Every year or so I would toss the idea around in my head, trying to picture myself working independently, on the phone with clients, writing, etc. I would try to figure it out with “pro and con” lists and Internet research, yet it seemed impossible to weigh out the “right” action in my head. FINALLY, I took the leap and registered for a certification program. I knew that if I didn’t get the feedback available by jumping into the experience, I would continue to expend energy thinking about it on an at least annual basis. I had to know. I had no idea what I would do from there, but I had to step into it to find out. Though I still had low level concerns about what people would think – engineer, teacher, marketer, what? “Life Coach?” I had to get the feedback, even at the risk of being wrong.
In my business, I continue to be confronted every day about trying new things, and wondering if I will “suck” at them! But, now, the reason I coach, my vision of an abundant world in which people are free to be their full self without fear or judgment, is important enough to me that it is worth doing every step badly if I had to. I have both friends and clients who continually analyze their primary relationship. If they are in one, they ponder and debate as to whether they want to be in it. If they are not in one, they wonder extensively about what it would be like to date so and so, or be back with so and so. If you have been actively pondering something for 6 months or longer, take action! Your intuition is telling you that there is something going on here to explore. Act and get feedback. Nothing that is truly in your best interests is irreversible.
- What in your life do you spend time ruminating about?
- Where can you choose action, even potentially wrong action, in order to find out what is really true for you?
- What outcome is so important to you that you are willing to make it happen, whatever it takes, even if it means looking bad?