I was asked recently, why do clients choose to work with you?
I gave a few specific answers, one of which was, “I am real.” If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, you know that I am pretty full-disclosure. If it happens, I share it.
And I really believed that statement, “I am real,” to be true.
By the end of that day I was cracking up to look at that response, because all that kept showing up were the places where I wasn’t being real – not being real with myself.
I was talking with a girlfriend about this last night, and she said, “You’re only as real as what you know to be true.”
This is pretty profound.
Whatever level you are at, my guess is that you have commitment to authenticity – that’s why you are reading this. And yet, I would also assert that you are also full of shit. Don’t worry, you are not alone.
See, I have grown my business and my life beyond the edge of where I could imagine when I started. And recently I began to get that feeling again.
You know the feeling.
The one where you sense that so much is possible yet it feels as if something is blocking you – like a little barrier around your heart. And if you could just let it down, the world would crack wide open for you.
Yes, that feeling.
I might call it the “I am afraid I might be full of shit” feeling.
I’ve had it before when I was trying locate or muster the courage to launch my business.
And I thought I was through it. I’d become real. I’d dealt with my crap, and the world was my oyster. Which was both true and not true. Because even though everything has continued moving forward in a delightful way, that damn feeling crept back into my life.
Of course the feeling was triggered by real life experiences that caused me to deal with it – like problems with finding good support to name just one. (I know some of you can relate to that).
We always get what we need when we need it.
The feeling is a signal. The problems are a signal. They are a signal that it’s time to get real(er).
I giggled at myself as I changed my initial statement to “I’m real(er) than most people!”
As my next little internal wall comes down (phew, it’s breaking open), and I step further into alignment, you know you’ll be the first to hear the details.
For today, I want you to ask yourself, “Where am I still full of shit right now?”
Where are you not being real? Where are you holding back from:
- Telling your story (the real version)
- Sharing your opinion
- Demanding what you want
- Releasing relationships that don’t serve you
- Refusing to do things out of obligation
- Feeling your actual emotions
- Telling it like it is for you
- Letting your panties show
- Seeing the people in your life for who they are showing you that they are, not some idealized version of who you know they could be?
Our “Self Help” industry often does us a disservice – we get all the “right” language to refer to things so that we sound evolved, and hopefully if we just pretend it long enough, it will actually be the case. But you won’t get there without first getting real.
My request to you is to make a commitment, right now, to just be real(er) – in one conversation with one person. Stop protecting their feelings and trying to look good, and just lay it on the line.
Hint: It probably has to do with your mother. 🙂