I’m a problem solver.
Give me a list of your desires, I will find a way to fulfill them.
Show me the dreams and the limits, and I’ll work with them to make magic.
That may sound like a positive trait, and there are lots of benefits to being this way.
However it can also be MY biggest problem.
As I was talking with a past (and potential future) client this week and she mentioned just wanting some time to figure out what she was building in her own way. She wanted to give space to her inner voice and figure out what she really wanted to be doing right now.
I recognized that line of thinking. It’s one I know well.
“I just need a (day/ weekend/ month) with nothing else on my agenda so I can sit down and figure out what I’m creating.”
I am all for listening to our inner voice. In fact I believe we are seriously lacking this skill as a society, and it is absolutely one we need more of.
However, with the client I mentioned, and also with myself, I get a bit wary.
When I find myself going down the “I just need some time to figure it out” path these days, I have a little antenna that goes up that has me pause and check in, because I know there’s no gold down that tunnel.
I may figure a lot of stuff out. It may even feel really good. Lots of it may even be helpful.
But at the end of the day, I’ll be in essentially the same place.
My head will do a great job sorting through all of the facts, creating a fabulous plan. But the ENERGY of what I create will fall flat. My head is brilliant… but I need to start with my heart. And this (for most people) doesn’t happen by holing up in your office alone. It certainly never has for me.
I’ve learned over the years to create with my energy, and to create through people. And I’ve learned how to do that, or more importantly, how to tell when what I’m doing is NOT doing that, and I’d love to share.
Human Design and Co Creation
Several years ago I had a Human Design reading which helped me to understand this ‘I just need to figure it out’ phenomenon, meaning why it never worked as well as I hoped. I’m talking endless trips to the refrigerator and hours of listlessness with VERY short bursts of creation (have you been there?)
At the time I was in a place of feeling frustrated because I was having trouble tuning in to what I really wanted next, and this brought me to Human Design.
I’ll never forget the words from my reading, through a delightful British accent. “You have a brilliant mind Darla, it’s brilliant at solving other people’s problems, but it’s absolute shit at solving your own.”
This sentiment was reiterated in several different ways during that call to ensure that I got it. In the years since, I’ve really ‘gotten it’ at a deep level.
It’s all about Energy
See, your business is all about energy, and the energy from which you create an idea permeates the execution of that idea. Flat energy, flat idea (no matter how brilliant or mathematically sound).
I knew this from my training as an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner and also from my years of study with Landmark Education – who you are BEING dictates everything.
But there was another layer I needed to understand, and Human Design helped me to grasp it. It is why I use both Energy Leadership and Human Design in my work with my clients… and also shed so much light for me on why retreats (and coaching work) can be so magical.
In Human Design we have different aspects of ourselves (centers, channels, and gates) that are either “closed,” or fixed and always running, or “open,” or flexible/ influenced by other people. There is a lot that goes into this beyond this article. But the main thing to know is that when we are alone we have access to certain qualities, characteristics, and energies, and other aspects only show up when ‘activated’ by others.
When we are in a place of seeking clarity, and we decide to tuck ourselves away to work on our stuff, we are working from a fixed place. This CAN be good for certain work, and it is super important to learn to recognize what’s authentically yours and what you are picking up from others.
But clarity is most often found as we are activated by others.
Because, by the way, your work happens with and for others, right? So creating something that looks and sounds great to you and your head, and your fixed ways of being and thinking, isn’t likely to create the breakthrough energy you’re looking for in the execution.
This is why it’s so common that people create marketing campaigns or offerings or even full courses of content that just don’t resonate.
There’s no gold down that tunnel.
You have brilliant qualities (perhaps a fantastic problem-solving mind like mine) that shine brightly in your work with your clients as you RESPOND TO their energy and information from them.
The Old Tired Path and Stagnant Energy
There’s another reason creating by ourselves can often be a challenge. I call it the “Old Tired Path.”
Not only do we have a lack of access to different energies when alone, but we are viewing through one limited filter.
No matter how much work we’ve done on ourselves, we always have a leading edge of growth, right?
The Old Tired Path represents the path you’ve put yourself on that has kept you safe in specific ways. It requires that you view the world through its filter. And your leading edge of growth involves stepping off that path.
Only the path is like the air you breathe. It just is – you don’t see it.
And when you want to go lock yourself in your office for a week or month to figure it all out, you are by definition going to create from that path… through the same damn filter that got you the same results you had before.
And what is SO COOL is that the key to having breakthrough energy in your marketing and offerings is to create them from OFF THE PATH. WHO YOU TRULY ARE… the clarity you seek to expand upon in the world… is located in a completely different realm than the path.
So you must step off. This is not that hard to do actually. But it just may feel (temporarily) like death. And it’s not likely you’ll do it on your own. It needs an energetic space and container (generated by another human or group / facilitator) for you to catch it.
I’m going to be chatting further about this in an upcoming Facebook Live (Thursday July 13th @ 9 am PST/ noon EST) about PIVOT POWER and how to create energy and momentum by stepping off the path and creating from there. I’ll be broadcasting in my Facebook Group . Mark your calendar and CLICK HERE to Join the Tribe.