It’s an absolutely gorgeous setting. The sun is getting low in the sky but it’s still warm and lovely out. Yet I’m filled with angst. I’ve been faced with an exercise, one of those that makes you think and explore. And is supposed to have a big ‘ah-ha’ at the end. You know the ones… the ones I love. Yet the ah-ha hasn’t come. And I’ve been thinking and exploring for longer than I’d like. But I want the right answer. After giving a longing glance toward the beach just outside, I ask for help. The mentor who created this exercise will clearly know the answer, right? So we discuss it. And the more we discuss, the answer seems to get further away. I start to get frustrated. I consider melting down for a moment, maybe I’ll get clarity after a good cry. But I don’t. I’ve written 3 potential ‘answers’ to the self-discovery question… but which one will make the biggest difference? Which one will have made it all worth it? Then I get it. And I laugh at myself inside. We humans are funny. Here I am, in this fabulous setting. The sun. The warm breeze. The love of my life. And rather than being present to love and passion and peace, I’m in agony. Over which of 3 phrases on a piece of paper I should choose that will ultimately change my life. Truth washes over me. Nothing will change my life but me. And besides, I like my life. This is simply a choice. Make the choice and make it right. Focusing on what’s right about my decisions has, after all, been my secret weapon to growing my business beyond expectations. (It’s a level 5 of the 7 levels of energy I teach about). Yet in that moment, in paradise, I forgot that confusion is a choice. And so is clarity. And unless we choose to personally define our world, it will never be clear.
When I got the cosmic joke, that the goal of getting the right answer was to help me be more clear and passionate and peaceful and loving, and yet I could just choose to be that regardless of the answer, that is exactly what I did. I circled an answer… no more analysis… and put down my pen, and hopped in the ocean.The ability to choose is pretty cool, right? I’ve also spent years getting here, to a place where I understand that I create my own reality – always. And yet I still in that moment, when it felt like a lot was at stake, forgot. I see this happen all the time. If you’re reading my articles then you’re the type of person who believes in living in alignment with your Truth, and putting your best, most passionate, foot forward to the world. Which is awesome. And yet that very commitment might keep you from the clarity you seek. See, confusion is a choice. And so is clarity. And it always comes from within. We can CERTAINLY get guidance from outside of ourselves – that type of guidance has helped me to see my blind spots time and again. But when our desire to be our best has us looking outside of ourselves to have someone else tell us who that is, we will never really get clear. And at some level we know that. Because we’re actually committed to confusion, and we will only let go of that commitment when we choose to no longer allow confusion to be our safety net. See, when we’re confused we get big payoffs.
- We don’t have to risk putting our true message into the world to be judged
- We can procrastinate and avoid, and look like we’re trying. Maybe even striving for perfection
- We can confuse other people around us so at least we’re hiding out together
- We can keep people from supporting us who would love to make our lives easier if they could just figure out how
- We can continue to pretend not to know the things our intuition actually sees clearly. They are probably painful
- And we don’t have to be truly happy. Because most of us don’t trust that joy will last so it’s easier to just stay busy trying to figure out what might make us joyful someday.
We don’t mean to… we come by this honestly. The 5-year-old version of us created these walls, and they feel so familiar that we don’t want to take them down. So let me just remind you one more time. Confusion is a choice. You can stop making it any time, and define your world with your own will, and then operate as if it’s the best damn world out there. And watch it line up with your choice.