Many human beings have a fear of being seen and known. There is no place where this comes to light as strongly as in business. Our subconscious mind creates truly elaborate mechanisms to keep us hidden. And sometimes they are as simple as the way we dress or carry ourselves.
If you don’t have the success you want, I suggest you seriously consider that you might have one of these in operation.
1. BSO – Bright Shiny Object syndrome!
Do you get a certain level of success in your business and suddenly a new idea captures your attention? It will appear perfectly harmless and highly exciting to you. It will capture your attention completely and cause you to be off in action in a new direction. Until you start to succeed over there. Then BAM – on to the next thing. What if you committed to one thing long enough to create a 6-figure business?
2. Perfectionism or Procrastination.
Do you wait until you get everything perfect before you take action? There could be a host of different fears driving this, but ask yourself, is the real fear that is motivating my desire to get it right that I would rather spend time on the PROCESS (researching, reading, revising) than to release it and know that people will actually SEE me and my stuff?
3. Information or Credentials.
Are you either busy getting more letters behind your name, or shoving your credentials in people’s face, hoping that will make them like and respect you? Or are you sharing SO MUCH information with people that you leave them overwhelmed and uncertain about what to do next? I spoke with someone recently who was spending weeks mapping out content for a 2 hour coaching session. Giving all that information is simply a mechanism for keeping your real self hidden.
4. Physical Appearance.
Does your appearance keep you hidden? This can happen in one of two ways. Either you blend in carefully and go unnoticed, or you dress so boldly that people will find you unapproachable. If your dress is aligned with who you truly are, it will not get in the way, no matter how bold. If you are using it as a hiding tactic, people will just literally ignore you. I used to wear big glasses and lots of dark and neutral colors. It took someone courageous pointing out to me that I was hiding physically for me to see it. (Weight is also a way we can hide). Here’s the thing, I had no idea I was hiding, and you may not either. Ask someone you trust about how you show up.
5. Checking Out.
Do you have so many things running through your brain that you are never actually present to what you are doing or who you are with? When you’re not present in your body, you have no presence. You’re not seen. Again, this is an elaborate scheme. You take on so many projects and ideas that you’re running here to there, or mentally reviewing your to do list, and you’re missing what’s going on in front of you. And it feels like just the way it is. But in reality you’re hiding in plain sight!
Now, forgive yourself. You created this pattern for a reason. At some point you determined it was not safe to be seen. Someone hurt you, laughed at you, put you down, gave you too much responsibility at a young age, etc. That was not your fault. But it is your responsibility to change it. Which of these can you shift this week?
Have a different mechanism that keeps you in hiding? I’d love to hear about it below!