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Competition is always a lack.

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Hello and welcome to today’s episode of Retreat and Grow Rich, the podcast. Thanks so much for being here. You will love meeting my guest today. Her name is Oge Okosieme and she is an expert at what it is to become a new human.

Welcome, Oge to this experience. I’m super excited to share you and one of the reasons that I really wanted to interview you and share you is- we’ve been Facebook friends for quite some time, I don’t even remember how we originally connected, but I feel I’ve watched your transformation via Facebook, and one of the things I really love and admire about you is you’re constantly sharing yourself, and your own life, and your perspective, and you’re also sharing your clients’ successes.

Oge Okosieme:       Yes.

Darla LeDoux:       And every time I see you give a shout out to someone it just warms my heart and I know the kind of work you’re doing for the kind of results that your people are getting. So, thanks for being here.

Oge Okosieme:       Thank you. Thank you. I’m looking forward to this. It’s been quite a transition for me, and I was just saying to one of my other Facebook friends last week, this is the year I’ve actually decided to be a lot more visible with what I am doing, because those parts of me you witness was actually me kind of dipping my foot in the water and coming back out again, signing up clients and that experience, so it’s been a really cool way to learn from my own experience, have clients that want to go that journey with me. And then this year, I said it, I’m gonna play full out this year.

Darla LeDoux:       Well, I can’t wait to see what that looks like. I’m right with you. My intention for this year is more visibility to my entire community, and to the type of work that we’re doing, and I’m gonna ask you a little bit later about your clients and the things that they deal with and struggle with, because there is a certain magic- and the last series that we did was all about what I call the RICH skills those right brained, intuitive, connected,heart-centered skills, and you’re speaking to those people. You and I are on the same mission to help people like us get more visibility in society, because we’re doing so much of the work that needs to be happening right now, and kind of like secretly under the radar.

Oge Okosieme:       I know it’s the secret, under the radar, that’s the hilarious bit. And then you talk to other people and other people are like, secretly under the radar too and-

Darla LeDoux:       Exactly.

Oge Okosieme:       … oh my god, you’re kind of my “secretly under the radar kind of person” and actually that’s how I connect with my clients, because I tour and people email me. There’s an interesting thing about being secretly under the radar is people don’t want to come out. It’s like having a bad cocaine habit or something. People don’t quite wanna come out, say on Facebook, but they’ll message me and say, “oh my god, that post, that post so resonated with me. Can we have a conversation?”. And I get that quite a lot, so you won’t find- I did a post the other day, saying you won’t find my clients actually-

Darla LeDoux:      Commenting.

Oge Okosieme:       No, they don’t. They don’t because we’re all secretly under the radar, right?

Darla LeDoux:       Yeah, I can’t wait to see what happens when this underground conversation and economy goes to the next level of visibility.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly. I think we’re getting there now. I think people are getting a bit more, kinda losing the sh- it’s not even shame, it’s the uncertainty around it because that’s where the new human experience has actually come from. Because we are all having, right now, a new human experience. For me, I’ve transitioned from an old human to a new human.

Darla LeDoux:       Yeah, so let’s talk about that. That’s my burning question, it’s like, share about this whole new human thing. What does it mean and how should we think about it?

Oge Okosieme:       Okay, so old humans had a certain way of being and, for me, that came as my “aha” moment when I was in my no man’s land phase, so I went through a period where everything I knew, Darla, just started to break down. All the structures, all the strategies, everything I knew that used to work for me, it’s like I go and it doesn’t work, and it was all that outward way of doing things that had worked in the past. So that’s one thing about the old human is that old human focus pretty much on actions, what I call outward actions to get things done.

So I would go out and I’d do the marketing, for example, I’d do all those outward things and they just stopped working, and that pushed me into my no man’s land. I started realizing I’d become a new human when I was forced, actually, to start relying on other ways of doing things, and those other ways were what I now call my “inner authority,” really trusting my inner being and coming from a place of energy first. Really coming and trusting that that energy will guide me to my next step.

But I actually started noticing that other people were going through that same dilemma, and when I introduced the energy-led way, boom, things would start to flow again.

So, that’s one way of old human. There are other things. Old human was in competition a lot, so  – that you have to go out and you look at what the competition is doing, and you have to beat the competition, and go one better than the competition. Oh my god, that wore me out. That wore me out. And then I started realizing that this is more about communion than competition. There’s enough for all of us. The old human was in that lack space. Competition is always a lack thing.

Darla LeDoux:       I love this way of talking about it and thinking about it and I’m curious, when you talked about when people get energy first, that’s part of my work from the core of my … when I went to coaching school it was all about energy. What’s that look like for you, energy first?

Oge Okosieme:       Well, energy first is now what I’ve now come to call my inner authority. So, energy first is about trusting your intuition, for example. Going inward and seeing where intuition wants to guide you.

There’s a suite of things. It’s trusting your inspiration. For me that was the biggest one, because I was always okay with my intuition to a certain extent, but inspiration and trusting where that inspiration was taking me, because sometimes my inspiration was taking me to what I now call the “edge,” to edge dwelling. And it’s like, oh, is this okay to go there? And inspiration will say that’s the only place to go right now. You have to move from the center to the edge.

Darla LeDoux:       I love it. So, intuition and inspiration, how are they different?

Oge Okosieme:       Intuition is like a message. Intuition, for me, I can say how they’re different for me. So, intuition is usually a message. It’s short, sharp, and sweet. It’s usually a direction. Do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that, go here, go there. For me, intuition is short, sharp, and when I ignore intuition also, it never changes. So I could ignore it and two weeks later, to my demise, it’s still there going turn left, turn left, turn left, you see? Short, sharp, and sweet. There’s no concept, no idea, nothing to expand on. For me, that’s my intuition.

Inspiration, I get downloads of concepts, and ideas, and usually with inspiration I have to sit with it for a while and start to unpack it. So the new human experience was an inspiration and I’m still unpacking it two years after. Do you know what I mean?

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       It’s unpacking, and it’s a concept, and it’s an idea, and it’s an action when it’s inspiration.

Darla LeDoux:       It’s like a body of work.

Oge Okosieme:       Yes. That’s it. I love how you’re saying it. Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:       Yeah. So, one of the things, obviously this is the Retreat and Grow Rich podcast and I know you have a live experience coming up this year. One of the things I’m such an advocate for is using retreats to help unpack it. Because that concept comes in and people, a lot of times, they get a vision for a retreat, but then their mind comes in and complicates it.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly. Exactly. And sometimes when those visions come in you’re so up close to it too, it actually helps to have somebody like you start to go, “have you looked at this? Have you looked behind you? Have you looked forward?” Because, when our concepts are downloaded, we are actually part of that concept. We’re not separate from it. In fact, we are the concept.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes. Yes. Preach. That’s a great segue actually into the transforming out loud, this theme of this series because what I find is … I love the way you defined intuition versus inspiration. And inspiration, it sounds like so- intuition, it’s the same all the time. It doesn’t go away. It’s like, this is the thing you’re called to do or you have to make this choice or whatever.

Inspiration could, if you don’t, what I’m hearing, if you don’t jump on it, it could go away or if you don’t … what I’m hearing, if you don’t jump on it, it could go away or it could change.

Oge Okosieme:       Yes. It could go away. You actually have to nurture it. For me, again, and actually for my clients, what I find is when we don’t nurture and build a relationship with this inspiration, it will actually start to fade and start to recede. It might come back again later, but it doesn’t stay with you in the way intuition does.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes. I had Liz Gilbert on my stage a few years ago, which was really cool, so I read Big Magic and gave it out, and what she talks about, like the idea comes and if you don’t act on it it’s gonna go to someone else, because it needs to go through someone.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly.

Darla LeDoux:       And I loved that way. And she shared a story about a really specific book she started writing and then she stopped and someone else wrote basically the same book and it was very detailed, so, super interesting. And you said “we are part of it, we are the message, it’s living through us,” so that really relates to this idea of transforming out loud.

Oge Okosieme:       Mm-hmm.

Darla LeDoux:       And I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find it to be a blessing and a curse that that’s what I’ve signed up for, that life lives through me, the lessons come through me, meaning that my life is a mirror for the lessons, not only that I need, but other people need, and that’s how the work gets developed. So, what’s been your experience with that?

Oge Okosieme:       My experience, I mean, I refer to myself, Darla, as an explorer and a scientist. I am a multi-dimensional explorer, a multi-dimensional scientist, and then I have some core truths as well in that, which is one of my core truths is one of responsibility, okay? I am responsible for myself and I am responsible for the wisdom that comes out of me.

I do hold that as a core truth and I’m okay with that. But what that means is I will often experiment on myself before I go out and teach. So, I might look like I’m taking my time doing things- sometimes I might actually look like I’m putting myself into risky situations or dramatic situations and what’s the point- because Oge has to experience and has to feel as an explorer before she shares. So, that’s my experience of doing things and that’s where it can be a curse and a blessing. Do you know what I mean?

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       I have to feel how cold the water is before I say to people, from my point of view, that water is crystal cold. That’s a curse element of it. Now the blessing element of it is I’m usually ahead of it doing things a long time before everyone else is doing it. And that’s something I’ve had to own over the last two years. It’s actually taken me in the recent times to start owning that I am a visionary, and in that sense I do things before everyone else does it, and that has its own blessings too.

Darla LeDoux:       I think that’s part of why there’s this underground conversation, because society has all these values that we see beyond and I know I’ve had the same experience of like, well, obviously I’m the crazy one.

Oge Okosieme:       Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Darla LeDoux:       So, tell us a little bit about some of your experiments. Whether you chose them or spirit chose them for you, what’s been the most interesting part of your journey in the last couple years from old human to new human?

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah, thank you, I love that question. Where do I start? Well, one of my experiments has been moving from the idea that we have a problem and we need to be fixed, especially from a business perspective where we’ve been taught quite a lot in business that business is about looking for a problem and providing the solution, and I get that. And my experiment has been coming from a place of what if there isn’t a problem, and what if things are as they are, and there are just a group of us who are just simply bored with the way things used to be or the way things are, and we want to create a new experience.

So it’s not so much about what’s your problem? Let me have a solution. My approach now has very much been- what can we create that’s new? What do you wanna create that’s different? That’s been challenging.

Darla LeDoux:       What’s been challenging about it?

Oge Okosieme:       Because most people are still steeped in the idea that where we are is a problem and we need to fix it. And that’s been my no man’s land, bringing it back there for the last two years, is playing with my language, playing with even how I feel about fixing problems, even dropping a lot of my beliefs, and my ideas, and my structures around fixing problems.

Approaching my clients with the idea that I’m not necessarily interested in what you’re struggling with per se. I’m interested in what is this new thing you want to create? And that’s been an exploration and a half because I still come up, bump against my own ideas about it, against my own conditioning about it, and against the world’s conditioning around it. But in my heart of hearts, I do know that I want to create new experiences, not necessarily solve problems.

Darla LeDoux:       I so relate to that and all of the traditional marketing advice is what is the problem that you solve and it’s risky to decide not to follow that flow. It really is. So, I’m gonna ask more about that in a moment. I’m curious, because I’m imagining, and this could be my own problem thinking, so it could be totally off. I’m imagining if you make a declaration like that, to say, “hey, there are no problems. We’re focusing on the desires or the light, as I sometimes talk about it,” then we might immediately see a mirror of the places where we’re still in problem thinking. In other words, like, shit hits the fan. And I’m curious, did that happen at all?

Oge Okosieme:       That happens all the time, all the time.

Darla LeDoux:       And I’m sharing, I’m coming from a perspective, I’m sharing in this series as well some things that have happened to me in the last year. I mean, I’m all evolved, and things that have happened that are like, whoa, okay, there’s clearly a lesson in this, and where I could say, “oh, this is a problem” or I can choose to say, “oh, isn’t this an interesting spiritual lesson?”

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly. Or you can change the whole lesson dynamic, because the whole lesson dynamic, actually, is focused on the idea that there was something we are lacking, therefore we need to learn. So you could change the whole lesson dynamic and say what’s the experience in this? What’s the experience I am having in this? And that changes that whole dynamic from even a problem to what am I exploring next? And going back to that thing about literally shit hits the fan, it happens. I will say to my clients, yes, we are focusing on a new experience, but if you could have that new experience now, you would have it. You are not yet the person who is having that new experience and there’s a reason. The reason is called dropping all those things that are getting in the way of you having that new experience. And it’s those things dropping off that’s called shit hitting the fan.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes, yes.

Oge Okosieme:       So they’re not necessarily a problem. They are things dropping off and sometimes I will say to my clients, one of my roles with you is to help clear the path so you can get to your new experience. And clearing that path is the shit hitting the fan, because there’s a lot of stuff we have been conditioned with a lot of beliefs we have.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       But even clearing that stuff is part of the experience of having that new experience. It’s part and parcel of it. It’s not separate from it. So, for me, it’s been redefining how I see those problems, because the minute I see it as something we have to fix, the energy I bring to it is different.

Darla LeDoux:       Yeah.

Oge Okosieme:       When I see it as an experience, the energy I bring to it is different, and that’s why I have so much fun and so much success with my clients, I think, because I do bring an energy of exploration and experience to the whole equation.

Darla LeDoux:       So Oge, what’s been something that came up for you, or has it at all, where you felt challenged to remember, “oh this is an experience that I’m exploring”?

Oge Okosieme:       All the time.

Darla LeDoux:       Could you share a story with us over the last two years, what’s been the most challenging?

Oge Okosieme:       Oh, my god, what do I share? I could even share like the weekend. Where should I start? I don’t even know because it happens every single day. Every single day something will happen and I will automatically go into a thought of “oh my god, I’ve got to fix this.” Yeah, I’ve got to fix this.

My knee has been flaring up, for example. It’s really been flaring up over the last three months, okay? So I’m somebody who’s usually quite fit. I go out and I’m always rushing around. I don’t like stopping. And then my knee has been playing up and initially, my initial reaction was “I need to fix this. I need to fix this, I need to go to the doctor and I need to fix this, I need to do this.” And my son, who’s on that same wavelength as me said, “no, Mom. You don’t need to fix anything. You need to have an experience of slowing down. You need to slow down.”

And you know, I’ve known this for a while that I just need to slow down, but sometimes that conditioning kicks in and I keep feeling like I need to be doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. And what the knee has created for me, like, hurting sometimes in the way it does, because sometimes when it hurts I will just slow right down. So things like even walking, I’m like a power-walker. Now, I’m slowing down and walking. I’m actually noticing things that I didn’t notice before, and here’s the interesting thing, since I listened to my son and I started slowing down, the pain has eased. And then the temptation is to start going like that again and then my son says to me, “Mom, slow down. Slow down.”

Darla LeDoux:       And is that a parallel for life?

Oge Okosieme:       My life has been about slowing down and it’s so painful sometimes, the whole slowing down, but it’s painful because it’s a different experience.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       But, it’s an experience I’ve asked for. I just didn’t see it coming in this format. And that’s part of the shit hitting the fan.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       You have expectations. My experience of slowing down was like the old fairy tales and la-dee-da-dee-da. And it’s like, eh, what is this?

Darla LeDoux:       Now, do you think that you were invited to slow down before, but it wasn’t easy to do so your body’s like, “let me help you”?

Oge Okosieme:       Yes. I’ve been invited to slow down for the last two years and constantly like slow down and slow down and yeah, that’s exactly what’s happening, Darla. It’s like, okay, you’ll listen to this because your legs mean so much to you.

Darla LeDoux:       Yeah. Wow.

Oge Okosieme:       Anything else I could’ve ignored, but my legs, my knees, my legs because I am such a physical person, I’m not going to ignore that. But, since I stopped seeing it as something to fix and something as part of my experience, that has changed, because I don’t make the discomfort important anymore.

Darla LeDoux:       It’s interesting because we, those of us who are in this conversation, first of all, know and get the value of slowing down and leaving space. Like, for me I think of it, I have a whole retreat called The Lazy Bee, and it’s interesting the different reactions that people have to the idea of lazy. And the concept is really around leaving space to tune in, to nurture, to allow those inspirations to come through. When we don’t have space for them, spirit can’t work through us.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly.

Darla LeDoux:       And so we know this intellectually, but yet over-achiever, do the right thing, it’s challenging to slow down. I think it’s also challenging what you’ve committed to, which I love, to have marketing be all about the light versus what’s wrong that we need to fix.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:       It’s challenging to kinda go against the grain in our culture.

Oge Okosieme:       It has been. It has been. I’ve had people when I say I wanna do this new experience, they try and flip it and say, “but you’re still solving a problem,” and da-da-da, and I’m like yes. If you wanna see it that way you can. It’s about how I’m choosing the language, because that’s affecting who I’m attracting and where I’m choosing to focus.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       And I actually found a coach last year who got it completely and she really helped me change a lot of things around. So there are, like you said, there are quite a few of us underground.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes. Amazing. Though how has transforming out loud or sharing, and you mentioned Facebook and people will message you privately, how has that impacted your business?

Oge Okosieme:       Oh, my god. Like I said, it’s all those people, Darla, who are hiding. It’s all those people who are hiding. It’s them I’m reaching out to. So, and again, it’s impacted my business on the one way that I’m getting people flowing in.

Then we go back to the traditional way of doing this. So, one of the traditional ways of doing things is like in business, credibility. And one of the ways of getting our credibility is through testimonials. My clients are not necessarily that keen on going on a video and go, “when I first started working with Oge, da-da-da, and then now happened this, this, this.” I’m actually doing work with my clients where I’m also a spiritual coach with most of my clients, so my clients stay with me long-term. Most of my clients have been with me for a year, okay? And it’s ongoing work and they’ll be things like, one of my clients will have a contract, for example. And she says, “Oge, are you available before I go into this meeting because I need you to get me energetically ready for this meeting”. So those are the clients I’m working with now, which is really different, but they’re not about to come on and give me like a traditional marketing testimonial.

Darla LeDoux:       Well, this is interesting, because part of getting from this underground network to being more visible is not being ashamed to say, “hey, I need this support.”

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:       You know? I think, I’ve been reflecting on this a lot because I pay a lot for my mindset support. There are moments where I think, like, I could be paying three team members, you know?

Oge Okosieme:       Yes, yes.

Darla LeDoux:       Yet I know I need that and that level of support. Maybe for your followers or your clients who are listening to this, and mine, let’s come out of the closet about this.

Oge Okosieme:       I think there is a coming out of the closet. I don’t think it’s so much shame with my clients, it’s the uncertainty, because I’m on this new journey, this different journey, and my clients are going on a different journey too. And I think it’s more the uncertainty of the journey that we’re on that’s having people kind of hide behind closets just in case, because it is an uncertain journey.

I mean, I will say, I will ask my clients, “what do you want to achieve in our time together?” And then I will say to them, I’m going to use that as a focus, what it is you say you want to achieve, but for me personally, I don’t give two hoots about what you want to achieve. What I’m interested in is a powerful creator you become in that journey. I really don’t care, but we will use your goal, or what you want, as a focal point.

Darla LeDoux:       What you want gives people enough commitment to actually move through all the uncomfortable things.

Oge Okosieme:       Yes. Yes. Because everyone comes through a process with me and what everyone gets out of it is trust and confidence that they are powerful creators and it doesn’t matter what that goal is at the end.

Darla LeDoux:       One of the things that really strikes me about your work, and how you’re showing up, is you’re so specific about who you work with. And even though it seems like they may be in different walks of life or doing different things-

Oge Okosieme:       They are.

Darla LeDoux:       … there’s this … in reading your website, and I’m sharing this because I really want people to get like the depth of understanding that if you have this about your client it’s so much easier to connect.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:       Just from your site you have a few principles or challenges that your people have.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah.

Darla LeDoux:       The creative thinker dilemma, the challenge of being comfortable with the unknown, like being that person who’s okay on the edge has a whole other level of challenge, your insatiable drive for knowledge, the loneliness of being resourceful, and when you see through bullshit. We don’t have time and space to go through these, but I really recommend that people connect with you and learn more about this. What was your process for getting so clear about who your people are.

Oge Okosieme:       Because that person is me. It’s a simple as that. I decided a long time ago, or a few years ago, that my ideal person I’m working with is someone who’s walking a similar path to me. And that’s for me, that’s what I decided. So, when I started writing those things out, I had a process I went through where I was writing those things about myself and I’m like, yeah, you know how it is to be lonely because you’re resourceful and I bet there are other people, back to that underground thing, there are other people who are lonely too because they are resourceful.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       So in a sense, I am speaking to myself, but we are all connected. We are all connected.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes. I love that too because there’s so much … my background in corporate, I was a product development engineer and I started doing engineering of plastics and chemicals and things, but I moved into consumer research where we would interview customers. And I know there’s a lot with surveys and things, which can be good in our industry, to send surveys, because maybe there’s things that are in our blind spot, but I’ve always gravitated towards speak your truth.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah, me too.

Darla LeDoux:       And that saves so much time.

Oge Okosieme:       It does. I actually don’t do surveys. I stopped doing them years back-

Darla LeDoux:       People don’t know what they really need.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly. So, I started creating what I am called to create, what I am inspired to create, and I know that if I am inspired to create something, it’s not happening in a void. It’s not happening in a vacuum. So if I’m inspired to create something, there is someone out there who’s also inspired to connect with me, and the creativity, the challenge if you like, or the creativity comes in me finding the language and the communication to connect with that person. But it doesn’t change that inspired creation. What changes is how I communicate it.

Darla LeDoux:       So beautiful. Because even when we did research in corporate, what people said they wanted wasn’t what they really wanted. The effective research, we would go live with them, and watch them in their lives, and they don’t know, but when you give voice to it they resonate.

Oge Okosieme:       Exactly. A lot of times, especially in these times, Darla, especially in these times where things are so up and energy, we’re transitioning, and what is happening is we are moving, we are moving to a different reality. We just don’t have a blueprint or a structure or a step by step for it, hence why everyone’s now knocking all the gurus that they all wanted the step by step from. It’s because we don’t have a step by step for anything now.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       So when people like you and me come up with a voice, we give people footsteps in the sand to at least follow.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes.

Oge Okosieme:       And that’s what people are looking for, footsteps in the sand to follow until they have the confidence to create their own footsteps.

Darla LeDoux:       That’s beautiful. Love it. So, Oge, how can people connect with you?

Oge Okosieme:       I’ve got these questions I ask, because one of the things I love playing with, I am a coach by profession, and one of the things I love playing with is questions.

So I’ve got these questions, they’re called “15 creative questions to help you gain clarity on your audacious vision.” That’s who I like to work with. You have to have that audacity to go for it. And the way you can connect with it right now.

Darla LeDoux:       And we’ll put the link in the show notes as well.

Oge Okosieme:       Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Darla LeDoux:       Where people can link right from, so if you’re listening to this on iTunes, if you go to you will be able to find the show notes there as well and we’ll have the link.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah. And you can also connect with me on my Facebook business page, which is, if you type in The New Human Experience, you’ll find me there.

Darla LeDoux:       Oh, I’m not following that. I’ll go do that.

Oge Okosieme:       Yeah. I do some cool stuff on there. There’s some cool videos on there around some of these topics we’ve spoken about.

Darla LeDoux:       Beautiful. Oge, thank you so, so much. It’s been a delight to connect with you in this way and share your work with the world. I wanna like fist bump you, like we’re doing this together.

Oge Okosieme:     I hear you. I hear you.

Darla LeDoux:       Keep up the great work.

Oge Okosieme:       Thank you very much. Thank you for having me.

Darla LeDoux:       Yes, bye. Bye everyone, thanks for listening.

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