It seems boring and trite to title an article “Free to Be Me.” But this week it just feels right. It feels right to go back to basics, because the Truth is, we all need a reminder that life works when we’re just ourselves.And the Truth is, being ourselves is easier said than done.
I am also about turn 40. That’s right,this Sunday I hit the big 4-0. My newcoaching program has a formal start date of my 40th birthday because magic will happen in my new decade and I want you on my bus!)
Actually, I have learned that for most people an energetic shift happens at 40. For me, I can say without a doubt it’s taken me forty years to be free to be me! Now, I’m not going to say I won’t become aware of even more parts of myself as the journey continues, but I’m clear that I’m willing to be regardless of what anybody thinks.
It Can Feel Scary
It’s easy to say we are willing to trust our Truth and stand by it regardless of what anybody else thinks, but it’s not easy. I teach people to own their true value, and then I teach them how to market it. If they aren’t even willing to let go of their unwritten rules long enough to see the magic that they truly are, then I don’t help them market it. I won’t teach a formula when what someone really needs is a Truth.
And when I follow my intuition on this, the only place from which we can truly create, it can feel scary. Because I like people to like me, just like anyone else. And people don’t always like Truth.
Of course, after spending years of my energy and love and passion building a business called Align and Profit, and then realizing I was out of alignment in my love life (I became aware I was meant to have a wife and not a husband just last year!), my very first thought was that I had to close my business. I’d built my point of view around being who you are without fear – how could I have missed that?I didn’t know what to do with it, but I realized that it was actually the perfect example of how quickly our subconscious mind rejects that which does not fit with the stories we were given about who we’re meant to be. Just like an entrepreneur who dismisses the idea that they are meant to make money, or be a CEO, or have a life without struggle.
For the people I’m on this planet to serve, their business is all about becoming more of who they really are. I’m an extreme example of this, and my willingness to be me makes it a bit easier for those around me!
I’ve had some conversations recently that hurt my heart. Now the art of being free in business is about not letting the things that don’t fit with your view of life hurt you, so I let it go. But here’s what I’ve heard.
One person wanted to remain anonymous in a class because she didn’t want people to know she was learning – like that she didn’t have it all together. What would it be like to be as together as you want, or as in need of help as you want at any given moment? To go wherever you will without fear is freedom.
Another was concerned about judgment from a client about taking a day off. What if you were free for your personal priorities to make the list above the needs of your clients? What if you attracted clients who actually admired and celebrated and learned from your ability to take time off? (This isn’t easy to do in our culture, is it?)
Another was so busy analyzing what wasn’t working about someone else that she refused to see that she was also giving off a similar energy. When she shared what her current challenge in her business was, I could see how her challenge was actually similar to that of the woman she was judging, just a different, ‘more evolved,’ face. This is a tough one, imagine being free to be you without spending time analyzing or judging how anyone else ‘does them.’
One participant in my event last week said that part of her pain was around people “telling me how to do me.” Yes, exactly!
A Free to Be Me Business
I got inspired with my mission back when I was in corporate, when I observed that people were putting on a hat to go to work, telling their boss what they wanted to hear. (And I was one of the best at that!) I had a seed of a thought that said, “what if people could be themselves and succeed in life?” Even though I was terrified for years to actually act on this thought, it grew. And I’ve looked for ways to be in alignment with that thought ever since. I know the pain of trying to figure out how to make the changes needed to actually get clear on what it means to be you. And the freedom involved in breaking through.
Today I can’t imagine designing a business based on someone else’s needs and beliefs rather than mine. If a decision doesn’t set you free, it’s not the Truth, period. You never need to buy into what’s popular or what makes other people comfortable. Never.
Other People Want Your Boring
I started this article by saying it feels boring to write about the simple concept of being free to be yourself. But it’s what I am now and always have been about, and I need to say it that simply every now and then. And people want your simple, boring Truth too. You think you need to innovate and invent and have some wildly profound thing to say each week. I get that, and that makes it fun for us. But the Truth is that people subscribe to you because in the wild and crazy world of over-messaging, they want your simple Truth. They want a weekly reminder of what you stand for, because it may seem obvious to you, but they forget. Let this be your reminder that who you are and what you want is 100% perfect to serve the people you’re meant to serve. Bravely let anything that’s not that fall away this week.