I was having a conversation the other day with someone who mentioned they really didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life – they were in a phase of asking, “what’s my purpose?” (This happens a lot in my world).
A little later in the conversation this person made a comment about a parent – they said that they would NEVER choose to spend time with that person if they weren’t a parent.
Unsolicited advice spewed out of my mouth. (I don’t usually allow this to happen in my world, but it was apparently necessary for this article today.)
I said, “You won’t know your purpose until get right with your parents.”
For those of you who are “Mission-driven,” Aligned Entrepreneurs, your mission in your business stems from your purpose, so that advice is for you, too.
What does “Getting Right” Mean?
Getting right with your parents, which incidentally just came out of my mouth without forethought, means getting right within yourself. It means healing the hurt you are still hanging on to. It means releasing any thought or belief that does not serve your higher Truth. It means letting go of any way of being that is anything other than 100% full self-expression of who you truly are.
Getting right does not mean you become BFF’s. It doesn’t even mean you have to communicate. In fact, for some of you it is in your greatest and highest good to have no relationship with parents who refuse to see you for who you are.
But you don’t want to cut off ties from a place of resentment, or righteous indignation. When you are “right” with your past, there is no stored energy around things that were “wrong.” No one can say anything that reminds you of your mother or father, or what they didn’t do, that pisses you off or pushes your buttons. You are FREE.
How do I get right?
First you need to admit you’re making your parent(s) wrong.
Then you need to be willing to release the right to make them wrong. The process looks different for everyone, but the first thing is willingness.
There are two general approaches, but the details vary based on your situation:
- You go back and reinterpret the “originating incident” or the source of the belief that is painful. E.g. “If I mattered enough my parents wouldn’t have gotten divorced,” becomes something like “My parent’s divorce was their path and had nothing to do with me.” This is highly simplified, and usually requires guidance.
- You become disgusted enough with your current results that you are willing to change your thought, feeling, and behavior patterns without having to understand the source. This is the easiest, but most people are unwilling to give up the need to understand long enough to change.
What does this have to do with my purpose?
If you can release the right to judge yourself based on who your parents are and what they did or didn’t do… if you can release the life you’ve created to either prove them right or wrong… then you will be able to see your purpose clearly. You get a glimpse of who you are meant to be without pressure to judge it.
And, guess what? You actually have the exact perfect parents to inspire your purpose.
I know this can be hard to embrace, but if this were true, what might your purpose be?
No matter how your parents were, and what they did or didn’t do – and I know some people reading this have had experiences I can’t even imagine – they were the perfect parents to give you the unique perception of life that allows you to make the difference you are here to make.
I know it, because your experience has made you who you are, and who you are is absolutely, divinely perfect. And I am telling you, it is your job to do whatever it takes to be 100% in alignment with that Truth. That is how you will fill your business, make the money you desire, and make the difference you are here to make in the world – starting with your own world.
Do you have the courage to get right on the inside?
It may mean that you actually let down your guard and let your parents into your life to love and support you at a new level. It may mean that you find the courage to set healthy, appropriate boundaries with parents who are still trying to run your life. Or it may mean that you choose, from a place of love and commitment, to release any guilt you are carrying for not being in your parents’ lives the way you think a child “should.” You get to say what is healthy for you. Closing doors to old ways of being will always increase your Power – your willingness to be yourself and speak your truth and accept what comes. Are you in?