Hi, this is Darla LeDoux of Aligned Entrepreneurs, and today’s lesson is called Happiness is Possible. Now when I was a kid, I was a huge fan of prince. You know that song, When Dove’s Cry, when he says, “Maybe I’m just like my mother, she’s never satisfied.” Do you remember that song? Yeah. I used to sing that song, and I would like cry myself to sleep as a teenager, because I was certain that  was true for me, that I would never be happy. Who’s been there?
There are studies that actually show that we have what they call a happiness set point, where it basically tells us about how happy we’ll be. Now what’s interesting about this is when really bad stuff happens to us, we actually return to a basic level of happiness, regardless of the stuff that happened. Similarly, when we actually get to the good stuff and exciting things happen, maybe you get promoted or you make more money or you have the business of your dreams, you tend to, again, just go back to this set point, and science shows this. What are we working so hard for, if actually achieving our goals may or may not bring us to more happiness?
If you remember the title of this video is Happiness is Possible and I believe this wholeheartedly, because I’ve been practicing it for the last couple of years now. In any given moment, choosing to be deeply happy, choosing to be appreciative for everything I have. It has literally changed the set point of how I feel about my entire life. I did this for many years. I did this in my corporate job, “After I get promoted then I’ll be happy. After this happens, then I’ll be happy.” I did this in my business as well, “Well when I make another  hundred thousand dollars, then everything will be rosy.”
The truth is, it doesn’t really work that way. Happiness is actually a choice. Freedom is actually a choice. Joy is actually a choice. I can’t tell you how many people I know who have the freedom that they really want and yet they choose to not to use it. They don’t ever take vacation. They don’t ever spent their money and invest in themselves. They don’t ever just relax and enjoy it, because it’s a habit, because everything in our subconscious mind is going to pull us back to this set point.
What do we do about this? There is a lot of different techniques for eliminating subconscious beliefs to help shift that set point. I just want to share one quick tool with you today. I want you to get a piece of paper, and let’s do this exercise. I’m going to give you three questions. The first question is, I want you to think about one goal that you have right now. One goal that you have, and I want you to write it down. Of course we know that we want SMART goals, right, something that’s measurable that you’ll actually know when you achieve it. Go ahead and write that goal.
The second question, by when would you like to achieve that goal? This is a date. By when would you like that goal to happen? Go ahead and write that down. Then our third question is how will you feel when you achieve that goal? Just take a minute and picture yourself goal in hand. It’s this date, you’ve met your goal, just bring to life a visual of that. How will you feel? This might be one or two words.
To give you an example, let’s say a goal is I want to have a tribe of clients, we’ll say fifteen clients. Tribe of clients is different than just having clients. They are like connected, they are excited, they are inspired. By when, let’s say a year from now, March, 2017. Then ask yourself how will you feel? Maybe you’ll feel connected and excited from achieving that goal.
What if I told you that the key to changing your happiness set point is actually flipping this equation, so rather than, because the truth is, your goal is not this. Your goal is not money, your goal is not a house, your goal is not a car, any of those things. Your goal is actually this. Your goal is how that thing makes you feel. What we really want is the feeling. We don’t want the thing. We want the feeling. We’ve got to flip it.
Whatever you wrote here in terms of how you want to feel, your jobs is to practice being that right now. If you think about it, connected and excited, I can be connected and excited no matter what my circumstances look like. I can be connected to my intuition. I can feel a sense of connection with the divine at any moment, just by focusing on it. I can choose to be excited for whatever is ahead of me, whether it looks like smooth sailing or it looks a challenge.
What if I chose to be excited about the challenge. It changes how you feel in the moment instantly. No amount of hitting these goals is ever going to get you this, until you become a natural at this, until the set point becomes connected and excited for example, or maybe it’s happiness, or maybe it’s freedom. Whatever it is you want to feel in life, focus on creating that first, and you might be surprised how easily all of these goals come.
In closing, it is possible that even if you’re just like your mother and you think you’re never satisfied, that you actually can create the experience of being connected and excited, or satisfied or joyful in any moment by focusing on the real goal of the work you’re doing. This is Darla LeDoux of Aligned Entrepreneurs. I will be with you again soon.
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