Have you ever had the experience of being crystal clear one minute and in a full-on state of confusion the next?
This can happen to the best of us, and at the end of the day you find yourself asking in all seriousness, “Have I lost the plot here?”
This phrase is compliments of my British friends. But the experience is universal.
I sometimes talk about how in my early days of daydreaming about having a business, but not actually doing something about it, I would be so excited about an idea and then I’d go to sleep and I’d wake up the next morning sure I was crazy. I actually implemented a rule for myself that I would put something into action before I went to bed so I couldn’t lose courage. Today I actually do give ideas time to breathe, but back then I didn’t have the strength.
What do I mean when I say I didn’t have the strength? It’s not exactly accurate to say that I didn’t have the strength to execute my ideas. The Truth is that I didn’t have the strength to hold on to MY plot in the face of no agreement.
In the Face of No Agreement
This is a phrase I learned in my early days of training with Landmark Education. They talk a lot about the idea of bringing something forward ‘in the face of no agreement.’
For most of you, what you are creating with your business may be totally unique to the world, but it is almost certainly unique to your family or friends or external environment.
I know I didn’t have a single entrepreneurial friend when I started my business, and my family still doesn’t really know what I do. So I was stepping out without anyone around me agreeing that I could actually do it. Even my closest friends who were supportive of my making the leap couldn’t help but bring forward ‘watch outs’ and ‘things to think about’ and thoughts based in fear. They had fear for me and wanted to keep me safe. Even more than that, they had fear for themselves and what it would mean for them if I actually could make my dream happen.
See when you become unstoppable in the face of no agreement, and you learn to create ANYTHING you desire, the people around you have to face that they may be able to do that too. That’s why some part of them would rather see you fail… so they can stay comfortable.
This is where most likely you lose the plot (i.e. get confused) because the people around you don’t necessarily see, get, or support the plot and it’s hard to maintain certainty in that space. And it’s an intangible phenomenon. It’s energetic. That’s why it can be so easy to go into blaming yourself for not being clear enough. Consider you ARE clear, you’re just letting the energy of others confuse you so everyone gets to stay comfortable. Seriously.
The Abundance Plot
I worked with a client who was constantly losing the plot. She’d be crystal clear on her vision for who she was in the world and what she’d want to create. Then suddenly she’d be on an emotional rollercoaster. Everything was too hard, what is it all for, maybe I should just stop, etc.
Have you been there? Or have you seen this with your own clients?
The biggest place that people lose the plot in this world of creating entrepreneurial freedom is when it comes being clear about how “big” a life they want to create. They get into this world and begin to realize their desires and recognize that they can create abundance for themselves in their life.
But they may not have a partner who is on board with this vision. (Or parents). They start to follow the principles of Universal Law and take action in alignment with their desires. Maybe they daydream with their partner about a life of travel and adventure. But the partner doesn’t want that. Or more importantly, doesn’t believe it is possible.
The partner will humor the budding entrepreneur for a while, and they appear ‘supportive,’ yet in their comments and their energy field they are emitting “I don’t believe you” or “You are crazy” vibes. And the entrepreneur begins to believe this is true.
Have you been there? Maybe it’s a parent and not a spouse. And maybe it’s about the value of the work you do rather than the lifestyle you want. But I’m guessing at some point on your journey you’ve had those moments when you’ve thought, “maybe what I’m viewing for myself as a dream is just a crazy and impossible fantasy and I’m doing all of this for nothing.”
That is losing the plot. You aren’t sure which reality is true. It can keep you from acting. I know because I’ve been there. In fact I still go there in my thoughts from time to time, so I get it. I just know better now, and I know how to keep my own plot going.
Listening Big vs. No Agreement
So how do we keep the plot? How do we consistently know that each day when we wake up we will be working toward the same vision? You want to create an environment that reinforces the plot.
Imagine Donald Trump (love him or hate him J) were sitting in coach on a commercial Trans-Atlantic fight. It just wouldn’t fit, right? It wouldn’t fit our ‘listening’ of, or knowing of, him.
When you begin to grow, you are always in the face of no agreement. The people in your life are ‘listening’ you as who you were yesterday. They expect you to be the same. That makes them feel safe too by the way. When you see a new vision for yourself, unless you are able to enroll them in this new vision, they will continue to ‘listen you’ the old way. Their expectation is pulling for you to go back.
When you attend an event where you see and commit to the new you, you need to get them on board with who that is. And some people are enrollable and some people aren’t. Some people are more than ready to listen you big.
Don’t come home and blame the other people in your life. You are responsible for holding your vision. You are responsible for enrolling the people in your life into what you are creating, and setting up your physical environment to remind you of what you are creating as well. This can take some commitment. You’ll have to make unpopular decisions by following your heart. That’s OK. That’s why you need a support system that listens you big. Join a program with likeminded sisters. Get support for your dream. The more people who are listening for it to be so, the more apt you are to make it happen!
I ALWAYS have trips built into my calendar to attend retreats with like-minded people who will see what’s possible for me next in a way that only a group of heart-centered, big-vision entrepreneurs can. This is a core part of my growth strategy. Every year. No matter what. You deserve that too. Because however fabulous our home environment (I have a great one), it was created by the former us, and we are growing!
Ditching the Unenrollable
OK, so here’s the hard Truth. Some people are simply not enrollable. Some people are clear on their value system and it is not the same as yours. They will be hard to be with on this growth journey. Some people are so unclear that they will find your clarity threatening. Seeing you play big threatens everything they were taught about how life works, and they need to stop you. They may not be conscious of it. In fact, they may think they are supportive. IN FACT, they may spend a lot of time telling you about how supportive they are while their subconscious sabotages the hell out of you. That’s when you start to think you’re crazy.
When in Truth, you know your plot. You’re just afraid of what it means for the changes you’ll need to make to follow it, so you let yourself be confused.
I’m not a fan of making rash decisions to leave. Because sometimes entrepreneurs blame their spouses because its easier than changing and growing themselves. You see, if you consistently have a wet blanket thrown on your party and have crystal clarity every time until the moment you walk in your own door, or if you find yourself constantly wondering if you’ve lost the plot, there is very likely someone in your close environment who needs to go.
Not sure if you’ve lost the plot? It may be time to get out of your environment!
We are now taking applications for our February retreat for those who want to build a multi-six figure business by leading their own retreats.
Apply now: http://retreatandgrowrichlive.com/