I woke up feeling just fine in the morning… until I didn’t.
We’ve been busy moving and unpacking, which has been much more challenging on me this time than I’d anticipated.
I had my morning coffee, and an unusual morning meeting with a vendor I’ve been collaborating with.
Then I paused for a minute as Kimmi and I shifted our new rug into it’s proper place. She’s been gone quite a bit, and I couldn’t move it without her. The off-center location the delivery guys selected had been driving me crazy!
As we bent over to shift the rug, I became dizzy and queasy and nearly passed out!
What was happening!?
I was concerned because I had a full day planned. No time for my body to be feeling bad!
(Have you ever been here?)
I am writing and creating a new QUIZ that I can’t wait to share with you shortly. I was planning a yoga class and have a cut and color at the hair salon. And, oh the boxes! No time for anything unexpected!
As I contemplated whether I could even make it through a yoga class, I became open to what the Universe had in store for me.
Rather than hitting the vigorous vinyasa class I would normally choose, I chose the gentle restorative class next door, and allowed my body to speak to me. I instantly remembered the card I’d selected for my week’s meditation:
Follow Your Own Rhythm!
This card felt so true and also made me so mad!
As I lie in a twisting pose on the floor of the yoga studio, I pondered. Why is following my own rhythm so damn challenging!? I’ve been practicing the discipline of letting my soul lead my decision-making since March. I’ve been consistently tuning in each morning, waiting on any decision that isn’t a clear, 100% yes, and working my faith muscle like crazy. This has looked like continually releasing my need to know where I will be in a year and simply trusting the step that is clear before me now. And now. And now.
And it’s infuriating!
Ok, it’s also beautiful and exciting and luscious and wonderful.
But here’s the Truth.
I thought it would end.
I thought I’d get to a point where letting go and allowing would be a lesson I had completed, and then I’d be able to go back to ‘normal.’
As I type this is sounds so crazy.
Following my internal rhythm, and allowing my soul to lead is something I ACTUALLY WANT. Like I know and believe that I am a happier and more effective human being when I’m in this mode. So why is it so challenging to imagine CONTINUING to live there? Why would I want it to end?
I’ve boiled this down to 5 core reasons moving through the ‘hallway’ and into the place of honoring your own rhythm is so challenging, and maybe even infuriating.
But before I share, I first want you to consider why you might want to honor your own inner rhythm in building your business and creating your life. What is to gain for you in this process? Maybe even pause and write it down.
- Feel the joy of knowing your yes’s and no’s.
- Feel more confident in your decisions.
- Never again feel ‘bad’ or ‘guilty’ when you don’t feel like doing the things you “should” do because you know it’s just your rhythm.
- Be more joyful in your self-expression because you’re clear about when it’s time retreat and when it’s time to express.
- Walk your own unique path without comparing your path, your accomplishments, your calendar, or your revenue, to that of others.
- Trust yourself to know what you need and when.
The list could go on, right?
For me I have learned to trust that when I am quiet and still and tuned in, my soul has wisdom for me that my ego/ controlling mind couldn’t possibly have come up with logically.
So then why would I feel so anxious to have this way of living life STOP? There are 5 key reasons that living life according to our own rhythm is so challenging.
1. We aren’t taught to honor our own rhythm. At all. Period.
We each have our own unique pace, and our pacing can look different in different parts of our lives. Yet we aren’t taught this as children, and in fact our society isn’t set up for us to learn it until we eventually have our bodies or lives break down and begin to take back our power. For example, my mom was constantly rushing me to get ready and get out the door. She didn’t think to inform me of what was coming and when and so I was constantly needing to jump to attention on her command.
School as most of us knew it is set up for us to operate on the rhythm of the state and our teachers, with no regard for our individual needs.
No one ever asks us to learn how we work best. Through using my own Truth Pivot process for transformation on myself, last year I discovered some interesting insights about my own pacing, and ways I’d set myself up to be unable to honor it. I think and understand new concepts very quickly. I can get it and see six steps ahead in no time. I like people who can keep up with me and lots of people can’t. On the other hand, I require a lot of space and time to feel into new ideas. I have a considerable ‘percolation stage’ before my energy is totally clear and aligned with something new. I like to know that I can move slowly through life, and when I am ready to act I like to act quickly.
Most of my environment until now was set up for consistent action at a pace too slow for my brain and too fast for my energy. My inner rhythm is unique. The more I understand it, the more I can account for it. And you’ve got your own version of this.
2. We feel safe when we are in control. And we want nothing more than to feel safe.
We are taught to make plans based on what we can predict will happen. We predict the future based on what has happened in the past. What has happened in the past, whether we like the result or not, has allowed us to be safe. It’s gotten us to this point in one piece. Letting go of the way we did things in the past threatens our sense of safety. So even if the way we’ve done thing completely goes against our own rhythms, our ego mind fights to keep the old ways. They make us feel like we’re in control.
As I’ve continued to feel into and learn my personal rhythms, I’ve noticed that I tend to get a vision for something quite a bit in advance of when it will actually happen. My ego wants to make sure that I’m ‘ahead of the game’ and pressures me to make it happen now. It goes into superhero action mode, planning out ‘if this, then that.’
Only it’s not time yet. Spirit is letting me know what is to come so I can make energetic space for it even when it’s not quite time yet. I’ve learned this the hard way. When I’ve let my ego push me forward at warp speed, things get sticky and I lose flow. When I honor the rhythm my life unfolds in harmony. In noticing this I’ve actually learned to ‘test’ out my ideas and concepts and give myself space to feel into them.
I do this right away so I’m not waiting or stalling on the message from the Universe. I weave a new idea into an upcoming retreat or campaign that I already have planned. This gives me the chance to really feel into what the idea might mean, and the proper timing in which to launch it.
This whole process feels very out of control to me still, even though I’ve been practicing it for months now. I want to know it and see it and make it happen NOW. But that’s simply my ego. My rhythm knows every great idea needs time to bloom. There’s a magic that happens in the space between that makes the execution more beautiful than it ever could have been in the controlled energy my ego would choose.
3. Growing in this way is painful, and we want pain to end.
Even though I’ve been practicing honoring my rhythm, and loving the initial results, a huge part of me wants to back to the old way, my comfort zone of ‘making things happen.’ It continually stretches and strengthens my faith muscle to wait for the ‘clear yes,’ and to continue to give myself grace and down time and replenishment. So much so that even though I KNOW that the gold in life is to be in my own rhythm, I keep hoping that I can go back to the old way.
I was out to dinner with a friend over the weekend who was talking about having a clear goal and watching it manifest. I found myself getting uncomfortable. I want to have that clear goal and CRUSH IT and feel powerful in having done what I set out to do. Only I know deep down that this is not where Spirit is leading me right now. Spirit is leading me to a deep faith in the abundance of the Universe that goes beyond what I know how to do and create right now from my ego. It’s exciting and awesome. And I hate it. I crave that ego-filled rush of adrenaline that comes from ‘making sh*t happen.’ You know what I’m talking about right?
I’ve loved the dance of honoring my rhythm, yet I am still clinging to my hope that I won’t have to do it too long. #Truth. After all, what if my rhythm fails me?
4. Our rhythm can make others uncomfortable.
I used to be a people pleaser. I grew up in a household with alcoholism, and became masterful at paying attention to what everyone around me needed and giving it to them. It was for my survival. I took up as little space as possible so as to not rock the boat. This was something I needed to shift to create a successful business. We can’t make people comfortable and be a powerful coach.
Honoring my rhythm has taken this to a whole other level. The more I learn about how I work best, the more I’ve had to make decisions that rock the boat for the people in my lives. What would you do if you discover that your rhythm means you need to ask people to handle things that you’ve been handling? Or to arrange their schedule to accommodate you? Or perhaps you have to say “no” to invites that you would normally love to say yes to but it just doesn’t fit for you right now.
In my experience, saying ‘no’ where would I would have gone along to get along in the past has not only inspired me, but has inspired others in my life to develop and communicate their own boundaries.
People may find your rhythm requests strange, and lord knows I’ve been judged. But the people who love you and get you will learn to deeply appreciate the way in which you honor yourself. It ultimately makes life better for everyone. (Even your kids, even if it might feel really scary to set boundaries with them!)
5. Finding our rhythm takes time, and time feels scarce.
Because we aren’t taught how to tune into our own rhythm as kids, and many of us discover this power later in life, finding it can take some time. We don’t even know to look, let alone how to recognize it. These days time seems to be our most scarce resource, so investing the time into feeling into our rhythm seems like something that can wait. There is always something more pressing.
Even when you’ve made it a priority, it takes time to actually investigate what you need, and to communicate about it or adjust your schedule accordingly.
I saw this show up in such a surprising way recently.
As I mentioned earlier, we recently moved into a new home. We’ve been in living in Southern California since April in a temporary situation as we’ve helped Kimmi’s parents after her dad’s stroke. We decided to stay in SoCal (yippee!) and found the place that was speaking to us. Because we’d been living in a temporary setup, it didn’t occur to me to even think much about the move. We were simply going to shift our location.
As I’ve navigated the actual move and then buying new furniture, unpacking, and situating our place as a home, I noticed I was becoming quite depleted, and fairly frustrated with how I was feeling. My projects all started moving slowly and I life started feeling “sticky.” I wasn’t sure why. This was right about the time I got dizzy and queasy and took myself to restorative yoga class to tune in.
I realized that I had treated the move in the way I would have in the past. The OLD ME who didn’t know her rhythm took over. I’ve moved quite a few times in my life, and in the past I didn’t need much and I could roll with anything. The NEW ME who is CEO of my business and is fiercely honoring of myself and my energy field actually needs quite a lot! Being able to go with the flow without slowing down used to be a badge of honor. But not this time! I simply forgot to pause and consider how the most rhythmic and honoring move might look! I didn’t adjust my expectations in other areas to make space for my rhythm!
The moment I noticed that I felt completely restored to power. And I realized that to consister honor my own rhythms requires time to tune and notice when something is needed. This is time well spent. In this case I know I would have been much more efficient and effective had I planned for the time I needed!
So those are the 5 key reasons that living life according to our own rhythm is so challenging.
- We aren’t taught to honor our own rhythm. At all. Period.
- We feel safe when we are in control. And we want nothing more than to feel safe.
- Growing in this way is painful, and we want pain to end.
- Our rhythm can make others uncomfortable.
- Finding our rhythm takes time, and time feels scarce.
Given these challenges in staying tuned in, I highly recommend giving yourself a CONTAINER OF SUPPORT for your rhythm to emerge. I’m excited to have three spots open for private clients at the level of holding you to your unique rhythm for 2018. If you want to move through the uncomfortable place of learning your rhythm and owning it this year, APPLY HERE.