Tough love today from one generous heart to another.
I recently hosted a webinar called “High Level Results: How to deliver more value to your clients without adding more time, second-guessing yourself, or getting another degree!”
What if the exact thing that you think you are doing to give your clients MORE value is actually sabotaging their results?
In my recent emails I’ve been sharing from that training, things like how to set your pricing (DESIRE-BASED Pricing) and how to define value.
Today we’re looking at the shadow side of your generosity.
I’ll start by saying I totally get it. I am fiercely committed to clients getting value and making the changes they want to make in their life. My work is 100% a labor of love. I’m guessing yours is too.
At least on most days… the days when you’re not so tired from doing so much that you want to bury your head in the pillow and call it a day.
I’ve had those days too.
Here’s how overgiving creeps in…
You’ve taken a training – maybe even from someone like me – and you know you need to increase the investment to work with you. So you do.
You look at the outcomes people get when they work with you, and for one brief moment you can actually get how valuable that work is, and you are ready to charge for it. ON FIRE about it actually.
Then you begin selling it. Bringing in new clients. Maybe some comment, “wow, that’s expensive.” And it hurts you just a little bit in the gut. But you’re committed so you keep going. And you now have a group of clients you absolutely love.
And you want them to get results, and you want them to LOVE YOU. So you give. Each step of the way you see something MORE you could offer to support their results. So you add it. And you add it. And before you know it even though you are charging more for your work, you’re working harder than ever.
This is your EGO talking…
While a part of this pattern is your beautiful heart wanting to give and share and love and uplift, and that is fantastic, the other is not so pretty. It’s ego talking.
I completely get it and I’ve been there too. I hate the idea of anyone not liking me. It’s true. More than 6 years in business and a whole lot of sharing with others about how awesome it is when people don’t like you because it means you’re polarizing, I still feel it in my stomach when someone doesn’t like me. #ApprovalJunkie
If a certain percentage of your clients aren’t feeling uncomfortable because you are forcing them to grow (WITHOUT DOING IT FOR THEM) then you are probably attached to some egoic notion of who you think you are, and you’re actually keeping them small.
Allowing them to stretch grow (and fail at times!) may make YOU more uncomfortable than it makes them. You can’t be attached. You are not your work. And you are not your client’s results. THEY get to own their results, and you get to let them.
How you’re sabotaging your clients…
When you are doing something for a client that they actually could and should be doing for themselves, and need to know how to do for themselves in the future when they are without you, you are actually sabotaging their growth.
If you’re trying to protect them from pain or failure, they may not get the opportunity to get the lesson. If you are more concerned about what they think of you than you are with creating a win-win from your work together, i.e. you get paid and they get a result, you will energetically sabotage the result.
Let me make it plain…
Your client is really excited to work together. You start out by defining your clear objectives for your work. You work your magic to send them on their path. Then they suddenly get to a place where it becomes clear that they need a specific piece of knowledge to take the next step. You don’t have that knowledge readily available – it’s not your genius.
Do you refer them to someone you know to spend money with them to get the info? (abundance mindset)… or are you afraid they’ll be upset to have to spend more money?
Do you commit to getting them the information since they are already paying you and you want them to get all the value… and then you tie yourself in knots trying to learn this thing?
Or do you outline the information they need to learn and hold them accountable to learning it between sessions – empowering them to use the power of the Internet that is at their fingertips to sort that out?
Refer them out and let them buy the information, or have them sort it out themselves, but don’t add more to YOUR plate, that is out side YOUR genius, to help save them. Embedded in the decision to do it for them is fear. Fear that they don’t have enough time, money, or resources to make it happen. They do. Empower them.
The toll on the overgiver…
When you overgive, you not only sabotage them, you sabotage YOU. You likely even have physical symptoms. Maybe your shoulders hurt from carrying the weight of the world. Maybe you’ve got digestive issues from trying to digest all you have to do right now. The list goes on.
See it’s easy to fall into the trap of being excited about bringing in revenue and charging your worth. But if you don’t do the inner work to look at your TRUE VALUE and understand that you are worth it exactly as you are, because of who you are, you will secretly, silently, overgive until you make yourself sick.
Don’t do it.
Let’s own it.
If this article speaks to you, you may be perfect for my upcoming Pulse retreat. We’ll look at who you are uniquely and why you’re so valuable. You’ll own your story, your unique work in the world, and how they make you perfect for the right clients, without overgiving! Grab your spot here ==> Join The Pulse
P.S. At The Pulse retreat we’ll look at the one single most important business decision that most entrepreneurs don’t want to make that would solve all of this.
Seating is limited, register today: www.alignedentrepreneurs.com/jointhepulse
P.S.S. I am BONUSING through March 15th my groundbreaking BRAND PULSE virtual training program valued at $997 when you register! Don’t delay!