I hosted my signature event, my Inner Alignment Intensive this weekend and we had nine engaged attendees there to transform their future businesses.
In each of these weekends themes emerge as the exact right group of people gathers every time to create the ideal environment for transformation.
One of the themes this weekend was around STORY.
This group included newer entrepreneurs, and quite a few who were still in their job (very different from the last one). Many of them had not had a lot of opportunity to tell their story in a group that was 100% FOR THEM. So I let them tell their story and be heard.
But as the weekend progressed I watched some of the participants share their perspective and also share quite a lot of “story” every time they shared their perspective. A lot of words to make a small point, and I challenged them to look at that.
Know your story and share it.
Why you do what you do is embedded in your personal story. There is a reason you were drawn to your line of work, and your history makes it make perfect sense.
I tend to see a ‘before awareness’ story and an ‘after awareness’ story. For example, before awareness I had a belief that I had to be smart to get love and that it was risky to share my opinion, so I became a chemical engineer, a career that had smart written all over it and used data rather than opinions to make decisions.
After awareness I saw how important it was to me (my Truth) that people could see how gifted they were and didn’t try to be someone they were not. In looking back I can see how I’d always had an interest in self-esteem, and each of the other things I currently provide in my business.
KNOWING the aspects of the story that make me perfectly designed to do the work I do is important. This is important for you, too, no matter what business you are in. You need to know that deep down at your core.
SHARING your story on your website, when you speak, and other places in your marketing is important to develop the know, like, and trust factor. When you look with a 100% commitment to truth at your history, you will find a brilliant story that makes it perfectly clear why you’re doing what you’re doing, with passion.
Give your substance where it can do most good.
We’ve got ‘sharing your story’ and then we’ve got ‘telling stories.’ Telling a lot of stories can be pretty harmful to actually getting your point across. And you’re probably needlessly giving away your “substance” – your goods!
If you find yourself telling a lot of stories, ask yourself from what energy you are sharing them. If you are using a whole lot of words, rather then connecting heart to heart, you’re likely making less of an impact because people may not be listening!
- Are you coming from an energy of explaining in order to justify yourself and your decisions?
- Are you telling stories from an energy of trying to make people feel comfortable or avoid silence?
- Are you dispensing good advice to people who aren’t in a place to take it in?
- Do you tell rather than risk asking so you can sound as if you know everything?
Have you become accustomed to people not listening to you so you just keep talking hoping something will stick, or even out of habit?
Once you know the core of your story and how it connects to your business and helps you identify your ideal client, you will have a deep inner confidence. You will know your right people and share yourself and your perspective only with them, and only when they are listening.
Your business story will include profound turning points. They may have some not-so-pretty parts of the journey, but they are never told from an energy of recounting facts, and not of an energy of wishing things were different. ALWAYS from and empowered place of loving the lessons of even the hard parts. If you haven’t done the work to love the lessons, you’ll feel the need to keep telling all the boring parts until someone finally listens.
Check for understanding
We’ve all had the experience of talking and recognizing that we are not being listened to. If we are accustomed to people not listening to us this may be the norm. We talk while the other person waits for their turn to talk, and so on.
But hopefully you’ve also had the experience of being fully present to another human being as you share your story, and knowing they are right there with you, treasuring every word.
As you step into the world of being an Aligned Entrepreneur, I challenge you to give your substance only where it is treasured. Check for understanding. If you sense someone is not listening, ask some questions to return each of you to the state of the present.
- What are you hearing in this? (Wait for them to answer from their perspective).
- I sense that you’re not present – where did you just go? (Said with curiosity).
- Is something on your mind?
- Tell me, how might this story relate to you?
- Have you ever experienced something similar? (Actually listen intently to the response).
- If with a prospective client… “You know, I’m not sure you’re ready for this – tell me what you’re hearing so far so I can make sure I’m not missing something.”
No room for making wrong
There’s no need to make people wrong if they are not listening to you. Either you’re talking more than you need to, coming from one of the ineffective energies I listed above, or you are talking to the wrong audience. “Not your people” so to speak, and it’s time to move on.
Either way, resist the urge to judge. It is what it is. Get some support for knowing the difference, and how to make your words supremely effective!