How to break free from your inner ‘problem’ child and start making a real difference.
Have you ever been a problem? No really. I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Were you ever told, either directly or through actions, that who you were or what you did was a problem for someone else? Like maybe you were lectured for being too noisy or too demanding. Or the mere fact of you being born created ‘undue stress’ on your parents, and whether they said it or not, you felt it. Big time.
What on earth might that have to do with your business?
Picture it. You’re going through life and you really know deep down that you want to make a difference with your time on the planet. You want to support people in helping them to have a better life, business, or better health. You want to help them to avoid some of the things you experienced. And you put yourself on the line for it. But there’s a problem. The work you do is really important for your clients, and requires a big commitment on their part. And most likely, that commitment is going to cause some problems for people. More specifically, it will cause some problems for the very people who are paying you! Wouldn’t you agree that in order to create a true transformation, things usually get worse before they get better? To get to the other side most people will experience some ‘problems’ – all because of you!
The bigger your work, the more problems you’ll create. Now, if you were constantly told that you were the cause of someone else’s problems growing up (overhearing “these rotten kids” time and again, for example), then you are trained to be small, and minimize the potential of causing other people problems. Can you see how that might get in the way? Especially if you were also trained to view spending money as a problem! Before they even start the work you’ve created a problem for them called paying you!
You, overly responsible. Here’s what else happens when you are given the impression that other people’s problems are YOUR fault growing up. You have a hard time discerning where your responsibility begins and ends. At an intuitive level you know/ knew that your being born, and being a normal, self-expressed child was not a problem, and that you were not responsible for your parents’ choice to have you. Yet if you’re given this message enough, you can’t help but believe it. And if you’re in business with fuzzy boundaries – you’re not sure when you need to do something to get a result and when the result is out of your hands – it’s a recipe for exhaustion. So what do we do about this?
Step 1: RECOGNIZE Awareness is always the first step.
- Do you feel bad taking money from people who think they don’t have it?
- When your client is in the stage of extreme discomfort just before the breakthrough, does it make you upset? Do you go out of your way to try to ease it rather than just allow them to be in it?
- When you raise your rates, do you tend to feel as if you have to do extra work to make up for it? (if so, join me at the Inner Alignment Intensive!)
- Do you hold back on saying what you’d really like to say because you might make people uncomfortable?
- Do you feel responsible for 100% of your clients’ results (rather than the 50% you bring to the table)?
If yes, then you’re likely trying not to be a problem.
Step 2: CREATE SOME PROBLEMS!
- What if you could be truly confident that the problems your clients experience are actually all in alignment with their greatest and highest good and a perfect part of the process?
- What if you stopped feeling responsible for everyone- your clients, the people on your list, your Facebook friends who might be disappointed if you took a day off from social media- and you simply chose to focus on connecting with yourself?
- What if you could test the waters by trying out some of the behaviors that you were told were a problem? Be a little bit irresponsible… a little bit lazy… a little bit noisy… a little bit demanding… How might that free you up?
- What if you just decided to create a few problems this week?