bad phone skillsIn two seconds on the phone this week, I could diagnose the biggest block in people’s business. It’s connected to how you handle the telephone. Not making sales calls but receiving them.

Some people will be jerks

My team and I have been calling people this week who subscribe to this very newsletter list (perhaps some of you) about our upcoming event. And some of you were just not nice. Now, we’ve had many delightful conversations, so don’t get me wrong. But my team got to experience some of the reasons people avoid calling like the plague. And they got stopped. And they broke through.

My goal for this article is not make anybody wrong. I deeply believe that everyone is doing the best they can given their current state of awareness. My goal is to shed light on WHY people respond in certain ways and equip you to handle it. (And if you are the one lacking ‘telephone grace,’ perhaps you’ll make a shift).

Truth: How you are BEING with people who call you sheds a clear light on your business blocks (or strengths).

If you don’t have time to be gracious on the phone with someone who calls you, I guarantee you are letting opportunities pass you by in your business. You are not a space for miracles to show up. You’ve got a wall up and the people who would like to hire you won’t take time to penetrate it. And it breaks my heart.

Now, if you’re the caller, here are some things to think about when you connect with unpleasant people.

They are always a mirror

When you are calling people to connect and discern whether they might be a great client for you, and you are getting a particular response or objection… especially one that pushes your buttons or has you stop without creating a result… that is a clear reflection to you of your own level of consciousness. Think about YOUR OWN way of being around phone calls to see what might be a mirror for you.

I had this conversation with my team yesterday. People are never rude to me and they don’t communicate annoyance when I call. I don’t carry a space to allow for that. And I don’t behave that way in my own life. I get busy like everyone else, and I am not perfect, but I am aware that I have no idea what opportunities are trying to come my way.

So if people are being rude, or annoyed, ask yourself how you feel when someone calls you out of the blue. Are you open and optimistic, are you curious, or are you annoyed? If you are annoyed, you’ll worry about annoying others, and you will attract that exact thing. They will respond to your energy and give you back that which you fear.

Some fun responses

Here are some of the mirrors my team saw:

“I’m not able to talk right now.”
“Is there a good time to call you back?”
(With annoyance) “I have no idea, my calendar’s a mess. I couldn’t tell you a good time.”

Now, I remember the days when I felt victim to my calendar and it was easier not to think or make a choice than to consider making something happen. But think about it. If you are volunteering to a stranger that your calendar is such a mess that you can’t even consider a phone call – how are you going to bring in clients into your business?

“I can’t talk right now.”
“OK, no problem, when is a good time?”
(Frazzled) “I don’t know, I thought this was an emergency or I would have never
answered the phone.”

How often are emergencies showing up to distract you from what you are really meant to do be doing? Why would you allow emergencies to get your attention, but not opportunities? Many people in our culture operate from one emergency to the next, as an ‘emergency’ is the only thing that allows them permission to change course.

Look A Layer Deeper

I could continue with examples, but you get the point. Here’s what I want you to notice. You’ve got to look a layer deeper to see what is really going on. Especially if you are in a business that is transformative in nature.

See, I know that when people attend my event, they will strip away the habits and patterns that keep them from connecting with the right clients, which means those patterns are going to show up loud and clear in these conversations. But underneath is someone who is deeply committed to something. It’s your job to uncover what that is.

Calling People Out

Who would you have to be to call people on their bullshit? We are trained in our culture to avoid talking to people about things they might not want to talk about. We have an agreement not to challenge each other – you don’t call me on my shift, I won’t call you on yours.

Yet when we follow these rules, nothing really gets done. We live the same day over and over again. You’ve got to be willing to have conversations that people don’t normally have.

Some reasons people don’t (per my team):

  • I’m afraid they won’t like me.
  • What if they hang up?
  • What if I don’t have all the answers?
  • What if they unsubscribe?
  • It’s better to not know than to make them upset and have them say no.

Any of these sound familiar? Now, what if you flipped this? What if your goal was to have people hang up, make a decision without all the answers, say no, or *gasp* unsubscribe? Maybe upsetting someone is the best way to serve them. The bulk of our world operates at a victim energy state. Anger is a step up. Anger makes people take action.
Do You Want Them?

Here’s the thing about people who allow your connection to upset them. Do you really want them as a client? See, your right people will recognize that you are reaching out in service (of course you have to actually be reaching out in service, not fear), and they will appreciate that. Whether they say yes or no to your invite, they will be served.

The people who are so committed to their stories about what isn’t working are not likely to be great clients anyway.

If I were to speak with someone who told me they only answered the phone because they thought it was an emergency, I would ask them, “How often do emergencies come up for you that distract you from your business?” (I’d call them out). How they respond to that question would dictate to me if they are the type of person who can really transform themselves to make a big difference on this planet. And it becomes a judgment call at that point about where to take the conversation from there.

Please Unsubscribe

My team was running into blocks until we had a conversation in which I freed them. I told them, if someone is not kind, or if they are committed to being a victim to their circumstances, we WANT them to unsubscribe. In fact, let’s unsubscribe them, because reading this information and nodding their head as if they get it is NOT doing them any good service because they are not going to do anything with it anyway.

When it became clear that the fear they were holding was around messing up my business and my list, and I freed them to not worry about that, the conversations shifted dramatically.

If you are not willing to let someone go because it makes you feel good about yourself to have them around, you are not free.

I’m a teacher of this idea from Raymond Holliwell: “Give your substance where it can do most good.” In fact, my events are all centered around revealing this idea to people and having it shape their whole business model.

As you likely do as well, I pour my heart and soul into this newsletter. I never write anything without meaning it to hit home and stir something deep within you. It represents my ‘substance,’ or ‘currency,’ as I’ve been teaching about it lately.

If you are not kind to my team, first, I feel compassion for you because you are likely even less kind to yourself. Second, you are not letting this stuff sink in, and it is not the best use of my substance to keep sending it to you. Please unsubscribe.

Imagine the Possibilities

If you are the kind of person who ‘gets it,’ right now you are excited as heck to make outbound calls! You might even be excited to receive calls from random strangers. Because you get the difference a moment of real connection can make.

I invite you to go about your days imagining that people are just dying to connect with you and bring possibility into your world today. Imagine that you have no idea how your day is going to go and what FUN and COOL stuff will cross your path – leading to money, love, connection, play. Let it in.

I have called people at random from my list and had them totally change their life and launch a whole new business that they had been dreaming about for years. I have called people who were the perfect resource for a direct referral and THEY ended up making money from the call. I’ve established joint venture partnerships by calling people from my list, and found opportunities to speak and sponsor. And I’ve made lots of sales as well. Be open to possibility in every connection, whether you’re receiving the call or making it. Telephone grace will change your business.

Now, if you want us to call you to congratulate you on a great decision, CLICK HERE to register for Align It LIVE, where you’ll have a chance to really integrate this insight into your bones!

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