I love the concept of the mirror. Understanding the ideas in this article can help you not only be masterful at moving people into possibility and creating transformation on the planet, but can also spur your own personal growth in undeniable ways. Oh, yeah, and make lots of sales. See, sales is the key to business. Without sales, you have no business. And most people would rather hide behind an online marketing funnel than master the most powerful conversation in the world. That’s why I’m so excited I’m focusing my new course for my Amplify Aligned Entrepreneurs University this month on mastering the sales process. As I’m prepping my content I see how often the concept of mirroring comes up in my thoughts, and I have now declared there are 3 big mirrors when it comes to sales that you must know about to be free to sell. And they allowed me to watch some of my clients transform before my eyes. They are…
- Can you look in the mirror?
- Mirroring technique in conversation
- Understanding the situation as a mirror
1) Can you look in the mirror?
Here is the general exercise to self-assess here. Look at yourself, face-to-face, eye-to-eye, in the mirror for 5-10 minutes straight. Observe your features, make eye contact. What do you see? Are you able to look upon yourself with love, appreciation, admiration, or is it hard to hold your own gaze? If you struggle with this exercise, you will struggle with sales.
See, sales is an intimate experience. When done right you are talking with people about what they most desire, and the reality of their current pain. To be comfortable with that space, you need to be comfortable with yourself. The more you can ‘be with’ yourself, the more you’ll be able to be with in the sales conversation. Try it out!
2) Mirror technique in conversation
Most people are trying to solve or combat objections in sales, and most often the energy people bring to sales conversations is one of ‘explaining’ or ‘justifying.’ Often there are way too many words involved! The key to efficiently moving a sales conversation along is ‘mirroring.’ Mirroring has to do with reflecting back to the other person (in this case the prospect, though this can dramatically affect your personal relationships as well) exactly what they said and how they said it. As you do this, you are energetically RECEIVING the other person’s communication and validating it, thereby creating space for a new conversation to arise. The other person feels heard, and gotten, and can now release their attachment to the thought they just shared. This might look like this:
Prospect: “I just feel as if making this business work is going to take more time than I have and I’m worried that I can’t do it all.”
You: “Ah, so you feel as if making this business work is going to take more time than you have, and you’re worried that you can’t do it all.”
It’s that simple! Yet in conversation, so often we want to either add or take away from what was communicated. We’re so busy trying to figure the prospect out, say things to make us look smart, or make them feel better by commiserating, that often it is difficult for someone to simply mirror back what the other person said, resisting the urge to add.
Now, you might be thinking, wouldn’t that be weird to repeat what they say throughout a conversation? Well, first, things are only weird if you make them weird, you might be surprised how effective this is when you’re really present in the conversation. That said, you can also practice weaving in some ‘bottom line’ mirroring. Bottom lining is about getting the essence of the communication in fewer words. In the example above it might look like: “I got it, you feel this is going to take more time than you have and that worries you.” There are lots of ways to bottom line it in a conversation, just remember it’s all about matching their tone and energy so they feel heard. Now let’s say you are in a conversation that you’ve moved along nicely and the prospect is a great fit for you, and you quote your price. (Never give prices to someone with whom you haven’t established a fit).
They say, “That’s expensive.” The natural response for most people is to go into explaining the value and trying to justify their offering with all the reasons why it’s worth it. Employing the mirroring technique, you would instead receive and mirror their concern.
You: “Yes, it’s expensive” or “I got it that it feels expensive.” And then be quiet. You’ve received their concern while staying in your grounded energy state. Try this and watch what happens next! This is a topic that deserves more explanation and practice, but it is more than I can cover in this article. (Check out www.alignedentrepreneurs.com for more in depth work with me!)
3. Understanding the Situation as a Mirror
This might be my favorite part of sales because it’s such a tool for personal growth. I’ve changed whole aspects of my life as the result of a pattern I was experiencing in my sales conversations. When you are not making sales, when you are in a place of either stopping in the conversation because something makes you uncomfortable, or attracting a certain type of person repeatedly into conversations, it is always, always, always, a mirror for you of where you stop for yourself in your own life. Always.
I believe so much in coaching because often we can’t quite ‘get’ the mirror for ourselves without some guidance. For example, if every prospect you talk with has a ‘spouse objection,’ meaning they need to talk with their spouse before deciding, and that conversation isn’t likely to go well, you want to look at your own beliefs about this situation. Likely either you are in a relationship which does not have healthy agreements around money, time, and investing, or you are not in a relationship and wish you were. Either of those realities would have you stop at the spouse objection and lose power. This means to shift your sales results you need to go to work on your own relationship dynamic.
Or let’s say you get a money objection, specifically around the area of having debt. “We don’t use credit cards.” That’s all fine, but if that is where you stop in the conversation, then you want to look at your own relationship to debt. Have you had debt in the past and you agree that credit cards are bad, rather than a useful tool to move a business forward? Or do you currently carry debt that you are not at peace with? If so, you certainly wouldn’t want anyone else to go there. It’s not about recommending or not recommending someone invest on credit with you, it is more about being comfortable navigating the conversation to help them decide what serves them, without being stopped by your own areas of discomfort.
There are countless examples of how your own fear can show up as a mirror for you in the circumstances of a challenging sales conversations. For now, just be aware of this dynamic. If a prospect is a good fit, and they say no for some reason, that reason is the place for you to start to look at how to grow yourself. And remember, without sales there is no business.