Welcome to today’s message and #4 in our series on the 10 Captivation Factors.
As a reminder the Captivation Factors are ten principles that are fully within your power to own that will make you and your business offerings Captivating. As a retreat leader, when you implement these into your life, you grab and hold the attention of your room and create a safe space for them to grow.
You can’t just practice these as retreat leader. You also need to be implementing them in your day-to-day life such that you are walking your talk, or your message is aligned.
Today I’d like to share about one of my personal favorites (though of course I love them all), which is about vulnerability.
I cannot tell you, how many people “know” they “should” be vulnerable in their marketing but panic when it comes time to do it. Highly successful doctors with a track-record of kicking ass. Technical consultants who’ve earned millions. ‘Helping’ professionals who give their support to people at their most vulnerable all day long. I’ve watched them ALL pull back on sharing, hold back their best stories, or ‘polish up’ the Truth at the last minute out of fear of what people might think. And it is the opposite of what they need and is often incongruent with their message.
Captivation Factor #4: I share my Truth as I know it, powerfully and vulnerably, allowing my clients to see and connect with me
First I want to start by explaining Truth with a capital T. You may have seen me use this before, and I use the capital because I find the Truth to be sacred and deserving of the importance.
There are two ways I use “T” Truth – one is when I’m referring to something stemming from Universal Law, which I consider to be Truth. The second is when referring to your Personal Truth. See, each person has their own Truth, based on what they see and know, have experienced and are committed to.
There are things that we are told are ‘true’ throughout our lives that may or may not align with our personal Truth. Just like it was at one point a commonly held belief that world was flat, our job as Aligned Entrepreneurs and those who are committed to raising the consciousness on the planet, is to continue to release old beliefs that were true, in favor of Truth. This is how we will begin living on purpose.
For example, lets say that it is your Truth, like you know deep down in your bones, that you are meant to be someone who takes a stand for people honoring their intuition in life rather than following traditional ‘rules.’ And let’s say that for you that is spiritual. In your context for life, intuition comes from God or Spirit.
Now let’s say you were taught that you shouldn’t talk about God at work. And let’s say you were taught that people would think you were weird if you were too spiritual. And let’s say that you’ve got stories, one after another, of times when you’ve received intuitive hits that have guided you in strange and marvelous directions. But you’re afraid to share about that because you’ve been believing that what you were taught was true. So you keep these ideas to yourself and try to find a more socially acceptable way to tell your story and position your business. And you miss speaking to the hearts of the people who most need you.
I’ve been there! I’ve been the person who thought that I shouldn’t talk about marketing and product development from my corporate background because it didn’t fit with being “coachy.” I’ve also hesitated to share stories that were “too spiritual” because I thought people might rule me out as being too out there.
Yet I’ve learned that the more I share my Truth in life, the more people feel it. I have shared everything! From the time that my car spontaneously swerved on the road in divine right timing to give me a message from source about what I should do about a money problem I was having… to the time I moved to Denver because I saw pictures of mountains in line at the grocery store… to the time I flew to LA with the intention to ‘kiss a girl’ and discover whether I liked it because the Universe gave me undeniable signals… to sharing Truths about my life growing up that I knew had the potential to create issues with my family.
Every time it is the stories that I least expect, or the stories that make me the most nervous because they reveal something specific about the way I actually think and live, that are the ones that draw people to me, or help to transform the room at a live retreat.
It is my Truth that nothing is off limits. I will share anything if it serves my purpose to help others let their Truth be seen.
This does not mean I go around telling stories about things just for the sake of talking. And I advise not sharing something until you’re ‘on the other side of it.’ It is completely OK to share something that is still emotional for you. I still get emotional at times when I talk about losing my stepdad. Or how much my life has transformed. Yet before you share you want to have gotten the lesson from the story, at least the initial layer.
Because remember you are sharing your self and your Truth in service of your audience. A captivating story is one in which the audience is the hero. They are seeing themselves in a new way through your sharing. So the sharing of Truth, while it is about you and can be very vulnerable, it is actually not about you. It’s about them. So use that as your guidepost. If you are going to be so emotional sharing that your audience will want to focus on helping YOU rather than uncovering Truth about them, then it’s not quite ready to share! Work with your coach to help make that happen. Then share away!
Most of the problems in our world today stem from a source of disconnection. Most people feel alone making our way through life. We’ve bought into the beliefs that were handed from us from people who told us who to be to fit into their story. And then we wonder why we don’t feel good and can’t find purpose.
Your clients and potential clients are feeling this way in some form or another. They are sensing or feeling something that they can’t quite access because no one has ever let them know it’s normal or OK. When you give voice to it by finding the courage to speak your Truth, and ‘go there’ to the places that aren’t generally talked about in business, they will have access to their own Truth in a new way. What a gift it is to be vulnerable and keep it real!
So from this commitment, dig deep and ask yourself, “What stories represent the Truth about what I think, feel, and believe in the world and how can I share them more fully in my marketing?” Then share them. On your about page, when you are being interviewed, in your communication with your subscriber list, on social media, and especially in front of the room at your live retreat. How you share your story sets the tone for the transformation that is about occur. If you’re not boldly sharing your story, if you hold back, you’ll lack safety in you room and your participants will hold back as well.
So who is committed to fully owning your Truth in service of your clients and so that you can captivate? I’d love to hear!
Darla – I love your blog and your videos! I would love to be able to attend one of your retreats soon. I am continually amazed at the many beautiful, strong, creative and exceptional women that I meet daily. They are changing the world! My dream is to step up and make the world a better place for women. Thank YOU for all you do….