Woo-hoo, it’s 7 Level Sunday! I realized that I have not kept up on current events this week, my second week of looking at current events through the 7 levels each weekend. Oops! So, luckily, I have embraced the fact that I am not perfect! In the past I would have spent a long time researching the perfect topic to discuss today to meet my ‘current event’ requirement, but, alas, I have learned to let myself off the hook a little. 🙂 I work with my clients on this a lot – letting go of having to have it perfect – so I lead by example here.
I am working on a presentation that I am giving tomorrow about Energy Leadership for the Right Management “Breakfast Club” in Cincinnati (very excited!). So I have decided to use one of the presentation examples for today’s blog. So here is the situation from the iPEC Energy Leadership presentation:
Let’s say you’re a married man and your wife asks you to help with a small project around the house. You say no, and give no further explanation. Based on your wife’s level of energy, she will most likely view that as follows:
Level 1 = Victim: “My husband doesn’t love me enough to do this for me.” This leads to apathy/hopelessness, depression, guilt, despair.
Level 2 = Conflict: “My husband is a selfish, inconsiderate jerk.” Now even though some wives would actually say this, it’s just as devastating when they think it and don’t say it. This is the blame game, and the result will likely be anger, resentment, and/or revenge.
Level 3 = Responsibility: “I don’t like that he said no, but I’m sure my husband would have helped me if I had asked him at another time–when he wasn’t so busy.” This leads to forgiveness by the wife, but will not change her core feelings or actions very much.
Level 4 = Concern: “My husband must be very tired. Or maybe something else is wrong. What can I do to help him?” This leads to more of an effort by the wife to help. The primary reward is the feeling of satisfaction from helping to make things better. It’s not about the wife any longer and she hasn’t taken her husband’s response personally.
Level 5 = Reconciliation: “I see how things are. I’m sure I can create a way to not only help my husband get more time to relax, but also, because of that, maybe he’ll even help me with that really big project I’ve been wanting to do.” This leads to a brainstorming session for mutual gain.
Level 6 = Synthesis: “I feel great for being in this relationship. It offers so much variety and experience. Maybe he’ll help me later on. I didn’t really need help anyway, just thought it would be more fun if we did it together.” There is no negative or positive direct result of this type of thinking, as this woman is already at a very high level, and thus would not be negatively affected by any “bad” news, as no news is bad.
Level 7 = Creation: Nothing actually occurred on a quantum level. There is no time, no past, present or future. Everything is pure creation. For a more practical perspective, if this woman were actually able to access this level, she would be able to utilize any of the below levels as she chose. And here’s an important point: Unlike those who are actually at those levels, this woman would be able to use them, instead of having them use her. Actually, no one in this world has an average at this level. We can only tap into it to access non-judgment and our own creative genius.
At what level do you react when your significant other doesn’t do what you want? How would you prefer to respond this week?