I want to set the record straight. You’re not like me. Most likely you are not. You may not care, and that’s OK too. This article is designed to strengthen those who are like me, and to bring awareness to those who aren’t, as it just my change your life.
See, I’ve had a couple of experiences lately in which I’ve connected with people who seem to feel that they are just like me. They do what I do, or they believe what I believe, etc. And they think that makes us the same. But we’re not.
If you have a business that doesn’t make money (or much money), then you’re not like me. Period.
If you think it’s OK to not pay your bills, you’re not like me. Period.
If you expect people to invest in you, but you don’t invest in you, then you’re not like me. Period.
If you only do things in your business when they ‘feel right’ or come easily, then you’re not like me. Period. (You often can’t know what’s right until you do it).
You might be smart, have great ideas, and really, really want to make a difference in the world. You may be better than me at a thousand things – you probably are. And I am sure I could learn from you.
But if you stop when it gets tough, if you quit on yourself, if you allow yourself to make very little money year after year and call it a business, then please understand we have very little common.
Here’s how we might be the same… I am human. I experience:
- Deep seated fear and insecurity. Am I enough? Will this work? Who am I to be, do, or have this!?
- Losing focus and losing track of my vision.
- A very, very messy desk. J
- Not knowing in any logical way how I will pay for things I have committed to.
- Not enough hours in the day and a to-do list that never gets done.
- Trouble delegating, receiving, and being supported.
- Frustration and annoyance.
- Wondering which path is right for me and if I’m really making a difference.
- Wishing I were better so I could offer even better solutions for people.
- Not trusting my intuition and looking back at a decision that worked out badly, knowing I could have done it differently.
- Failure. Many things I do fail the first time.
I experience everything you do that could stop me. But the difference is, I don’t stop. Not succeeding in the long term is not an option for me. Not paying a bill, not getting the resources I need to grow, not doing the thing that scares me… these things are not an option for me. Because I’ve decided they are not.
Just like anyone else who succeeds in business, I had to do things I didn’t want to do to be where I am today. Things that most people will never do, and that is why there are SO FEW entrepreneurs who actually make money in business. (90% of the people I surveyed recently make less than $50,000, with the whopping majority under $25,000).
I’ve done things like:
- Follow my intuition even when my inner voice was screaming to stop, to hide, to keep my self safe.
- Paid people to help me hold my vision until I could hold it for myself. Lots of people. All the time.
- Stayed 100% focused on a goal in spite of any circumstance, such as a messy desk, a low bank account balance, or people waiting in the wings to judge me.
- Committed financially in ways that forced me to make more money than I logically understood that I could. Event contracts, coaching and support teams, etc.
- Made strategic choices about what got done and what got dropped, even when saying no was terrifying.
- Hired, fired, hired again, and learned from every step of the way.
- Committed to mastering sales. Refused to hide behind my computer. REFUSED.
- Failed. Publicly.
- Declared who I would be and became it, even when there was no evidence YET that that was who I was.
- Let go of things that I was deeply attached to that no longer served me. Places, people, things, my heterosexuality… (again, publicly).
- Ask, ask, and ask again. Even when I want to do it myself, even when I’d rather not have to ask, even when I would really rather have people like me than to ask them things they may not want to deal with. I asked.
I’ve experienced disappointment, heartbreak, terror, a lack of certainty, financial mishaps, vulnerability, doing things I sucked at, embarrassment, and all kinds of things that required more strength than I knew I had.
I’ve also experienced joy, love, bliss, freedom, community, connection, gratitude, abundance, magic, and so much awe of the Universe that I never knew was possible. I’ve grown and honed my gifts and been able to appreciate them in ways that eluded me most of my life. I’ve been exposed to worlds I never knew existed and I would never change that.
Well, here’s my own awareness story.
In 2009 I found myself in a hotel conference room in Las Vegas at a coaching event. The event host was teaching all kinds of principles of business in ways I’d never quite heard them before. He was also coaching people from the stage so powerfully I was blown away.
As I sat in the audience, my pervasive thought during the event was this: “He does what I do.”
Thankfully by the end of the event, a new thought entered my mind that went something like this: “He does what I WANT to do, but he’s actually doing it.”
This thought changed my life. Because I began to get curious about how he came to be where he was, and who I needed to be to actually have a life doing the work I MOST wanted to do, and living in a way I could only then begin to imagine living. I also hired him to help me get there.
I was not like him. And if you’re not ACTUALLY DOING the work you want to do in the way you want to do it, and getting paid as much as you want for it, then you’re not like me either. And that awareness just may be the biggest gift I can give you.